~o0o~
Jealousy was a new thing for Emma. She wasn't used to the strength of the emotion and wasn't sure what to do about it. Her eyes tracked Shalimar and Brennan as they walked towards the dinner table, talking easily together. They looked good together. Tall, broad shouldered, and strong, Brennan's dark hair and eyes were an intriguing compliment to Shalimar's lithe, golden beauty.
What on earth was she thinking? They were just friends. They were all friends. There were no romantic feelings between any of them and that's how it would stay.
She'd almost convinced herself of that when Brennan's hand skimmed Shalimar's shoulders in what could only be a flirty way. Gritting her teeth, Emma stepped forward and announced her presence with, "Hi guys. What's going on?"
Surprised at her entrance, Shalimar's eyes nonetheless lit up as she exclaimed, "Emma! I thought you were heading out for dinner!"
"Changed my mind," Emma said lightly. "Is that okay or is this a private dinner?"
Brennan sounded amused as he said, "Have a seat. I'll go get you a plate."
Emma wanted to take his seat, which was directly beside Shalimar, but took her usual across from the other woman. "Where's Adam and Jesse?"
"Adam is in the lab, big surprise, and Jesse got a call from an old friend," Shalimar reported.
Brennan returned with her plate and set it down, his face slightly disapproving. "If Adam doesn't stop for food soon, I'm going to bring some to him and force feed him."
Laughing, Shalimar shoved him playfully. "Right. That's something I'd pay to see."
"He works too hard," Brennan said flatly. "How will it help anyone if he drives himself into a breakdown of some kind?"
"He's a big boy, Brennan, been doing this longer than we've been around almost," Shalimar pointed out. "I think he knows his own limitations."
Looking abruptly embarrassed, Brennan changed the subject and said, "So are you going to call him?"
To Emma's surprise, Shalimar blushed. "Call who?"
Finding her plate suddenly fascinating, Shalimar answered, "No one."
"Riiight. Tall, dark and gorgeous, I believe were your words," Brennan teased. Looking at Emma, he explained, "We were at the mall earlier and this guy comes up to us and gives her half a dozen red roses then starts spouting poetry."
Eyebrows arching almost off her face, Emma repeated, "Poetry?"
Glaring at Brennan, Shalimar said defensively, "Yes, poetry. He was sweet. And we have no idea who he is or what he really wants."
Dark eyes rolling, Brennan observed, "And I thought I was the cynic here. Shal, we can't assume everyone who approaches us works for Eckhardt. If we do then we lose, well, I'm not sure but we lose something."
"He's right," Emma said firmly. Both of them looked at her in surprise and she continued, "If you assume everyone is out to use you or hurt you, then you'll lose part of yourself. I think you should call him, whoever he is."
Biting her lip uncertainly, Shalimar said, "He said his name was Jacob."
Forcing a smile, Emma ordered, "Then go call Jacob."
A brilliant smile lit Shalimar's face as she scrambled to her feet. "See you!"
Emma watched her go with a sigh. What an idiot. Not only had she come no closer to telling Shalimar how she felt, she'd just pushed the other woman into some stranger's arms. Forcing herself to continue eating, Emma looked up to see Brennan eyeing her thoughtfully. Swallowing her food, Emma demanded, "What?"
Assuming an innocent expression, Brennan smiled and said, "Nothing. I'm just glad you're on our side."
Mock-scowling, Emma reached across the table and swatted him upside the head. He laughed and went back to eating.
* * * *
It was the fifth date. There had never even been a second date with anyone before this. Before Jacob. Wonderful, perfect Jacob. Emma had heard so many nauseating details about Jacob that she probably knew as much about the man as Shalimar did. And being thanked for pushing her friend into trusting him was almost torture. Rolling over on her friend's bed, Emma instantly closed her eyes as Shalimar emerged from the bathroom only half dressed. Dear God what was she doing?
"Em? What do you think about this outfit?"
Peeking, Emma was relieved to find the other woman dressed. Opening both eyes, she took in the skin-tight brown leather pants and loose, fuzzy tan sweater and sighed. "You're beautiful."
A faint blush hitched along Shalimar's cheeks. "Uh, thanks. Hey, are you sure you don't want to come? Jacob said he'd bring his friend Michael and I think you two would be perfect for each other."
Forcing a smile, Emma shook her head and got to her feet. "Wouldn't want to cramp your style, Shal."
Grinning, Shalimar said, "Thanks, I think."
"Hey, have a good time tonight, okay?" Emma said before leaving. Shalimar saluted with a grin and Emma left the bedroom. Taking a second to lean against the wall, Emma forced herself to breath in and out a few times. Walking again, she let herself just roam Sanctuary until her feet unwittingly led her to the lab.
She was about to enter when she heard Brennan's voice and stopped cold. There was a rich, vibrant quality to his voice that she'd never noticed before. When Adam replied, it was with a teasing tone that rarely showed itself. Unexpectedly, tears formed at their sensual interchange. How long had they been lovers? Or were they yet lovers? There was a flirty edge to their words that made it difficult to tell.
Whatever the real situation, Emma turned away without disturbing them. Sighing, she thought that perhaps jealousy was becoming a way of life for her. Jealous of Jacob for having Shalimar. Jealous of Brennan and Adam. Jealous of the ease with which Jesse found and discarded his lovers. What a pathetic existence.
Resolving to be better, Emma turned her feet with determination towards the library. She wasn't going to mope any longer, she was going to throw herself into something constructive.
* * * *
The first thing she noticed was pain. An overall excruciating ache with no particular source. The darkness was complete and she wondered if she were blind, if it was just totally dark or maybe, were her eyes closed? The second thing she noticed was someone crying softly. Frowning, Emma tried to figure out what was going on but couldn't move. Was she paralyzed? Concentrating on her hands, she tried to get them to at least twitch. Did it work? She couldn't tell. It was like she couldn't feel her own body.
"Come on Emma, don't leave me. Please, not again. Come back to me."
Shalimar? God, she sounded so torn up, almost desperate. Emma tried to tell her that everything was going to be fine but, big surprise, her voice wasn't working.
"I lost you once to but not again, not like this. Please baby, please open your eyes," Shalimar pleaded.
Baby??? What the hell was going on? Had she slipped into some alternate universe or something?
"Adam said that he's done everything he can, that the electricity has completely shot your mind to hell but I know that you're going to get better. You're going to prove him wrong, right Emma? You're not going to let some rogue Elemental beat you. Come on, baby, just open your eyes for me, please?"
Again with the baby, well, not that she was really complaining, not about that anyhow. At least now she knew why she was in pain. There was a vague recollection of sorts. They had been, where? Oh, right, tracking down an Elemental like Brennan. Adam had deemed it too unsafe for Brennan and, considering what had happened last time, everyone but Brennan had agreed with Adam. When they'd found the young man, Shalimar and Jesse had tried talking with him but he'd freaked and attacked.
Emma had watched in horror as the lightening almost struck Shalimar. Before even consciously thinking it, Emma had run into the alley, grabbed Shalimar by the shirt and thrown the other woman out of danger with more force than she'd thought she could possess. Apparently, desperation was a great motivator.
She'd turned to face the Elemental, and sent soothing mental messages to him, trying to tell him without words that he would be safe with them. She'd almost gotten him under control with Eckhardt's goons had showed up and ruined everything. The man had sent an explosive blast of electricity through the air and Emma caught one fully on the chest. The world had gone away with astonishing speed and now she was here with Shalimar crying at her bedside.
Tired and in pain, Emma knew there wasn't much she could do to tell Shalimar that she was conscious. Truthfully, she'd rather be unconscious so that she wouldn't have to deal with the pain. Focusing the last of her strength, Emma reached out for Shalimar with her mind. The love and desperation she found there astounded her but she forced herself to ignore it and to give Shalimar only the information of what was happening to her, what her symptoms were, and to plead with her to make the pain stop.
When the link broke, Emma faded back into nothingness.
* * * *
"Adam!"
Shalimar's scream brought everyone running, Adam in the lead. He caught her just as Shalimar began to fall to the ground. Scooping her into his arms, Adam brought her to another bed and gently lay her down. Brushing golden hair from her face as she struggled to remain conscious, he asked, "What happened?"
"Emma. She's in there. Trapped in her body. So much pain, Adam, please God, stop the pain for her!" Shalimar pleaded. "She can't feel her body, all she can feel is pain."
Shocked, realizing that Emma had connected mentally with Shalimar, Adam nodded instantly. "Of course, don't worry Shalimar, I'll help her. You rest right here. I'm going to figure this out, I promise. We aren't going to lose her."
He wasn't sure if his reassurances worked or if she just collapsed from the shared pain but Shalimar's eyes closed. Meeting first Jesse's than Brennan's worried looks, he said grimly, "We need that Elemental. I need a sample of his DNA."
Both of the younger men nodded acceptance of his words.
* * * *
This time she woke to minor discomfort and a sense of peace. The pain was mostly gone except for an echo that occasionally ran through her. Emma could feel her eyes were closed, could feel the blanket covering her, could feel a weight on her body and the hand clinging to her own. A pleased, drowsy smile surfaced and she opened her eyes for the first time in who knew how long. Shalimar's golden head was resting on her hip and long, elegant fingers held her own.
Because she could, Emma raised her other hand and lightly stroked the soft hair covering her stomach before moving to rest on Shalimar's head. It was a testimony to Shalimar's exhaustion that the other woman didn't even twitch at the caress. There were dark circles under her friend's eyes that spoke of the long, painful wait for her to wake up.
She looked up as someone walked into the infirmary and found Adam staring at her from the door. To her shock, tears fell from his dark eyes as he leaned against the wall. "Adam?"
A smile exploded onto his face and he crossed the distance, careful not to wake Shalimar, and stood on the other side of the bed. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, keeping his lips there for a long time. When he pulled back, he said, "We weren't sure that you would make it."
Which told her exactly how serious it had been. Adam never gave up on anyone, especially someone he cared about. Smiling gently, she said, "Thank you."
Shalimar stirred at her words. Adam kissed Emma's forehead before saying, "I'll let the guys know you're awake and give you two some privacy."
Shalimar's eyes opened just then and Emma felt swallowed whole by them. She remembered touching her friend's mind and feeling the incredible love residing there. Though she would never have used her powers to discern the other woman's feelings about her, the damage was done. "Hey there."
Swallowing convulsively, Shalimar murmured, "You're awake."
Nodding, Emma agreed, "A few minutes now."
"You're awake," Shalimar repeated, straightening up in her seat.
Smiling now, Emma nodded again. "You look terrible."
"I feel like crap," Shalimar agreed, a smile blossoming.
"Anything I can do?" Emma asked.
Shalimar leaned forward and tentatively brushed her lips over Emma's. When she would have pulled away, Emma cupped the back of her head and held her in place. Opening her mouth to Shalimar's, a contented sigh escaped when the other woman's tongue slipped inside. She didn't have any real energy for passion but this was the connection that she'd craved for forever. The press of loving lips and the lazy dance of their tongues together.
Finally breaking off the kiss, Emma stared up at Shalimar and whispered, "I love you."
That was when the tears fell. Collapsing onto Emma as huge, wracking sobs forced themselves past Shalimar's control, Shalimar buried her face against Emma's stomach. With soothing words and constant petting, Emma conveyed her love and her life. Finally the crying slowed and then stopped altogether. When the room was quiet again, Emma quietly urged her lover onto the bed. Shalimar wrapped herself around Emma, slipping under the wires still attached to Emma, and pulling the lighter woman on top.
Sighing with pleasure, relishing the strength of the arms holding her, Emma snuggled as close as possible. Listening to the heartbeat beneath her ear, Emma asked suddenly, "So you're breaking up with Jacob, right?"
Laughing in delight at the unexpected question, Shalimar kissed the top of Emma's head and answered, "He's history."
Closing her eyes, Emma tightened her arms possessively around her lover and murmured, "Good."
Created on ... April 29, 2003