Rating: PG
Pairing: Shalimar/Emma
Series: Two Hearts
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; all rights go to those who do. I am just using them.
~*~*~
I have only been here once before. I was never much on the romance thing, seeing as how love comes so uneasy to me. Although, sensitive I am to emotions around me; I am not always in tune with the ones that count the most, my own. I mean, I have looked up to this person from day one. She was fast, agile, fierce, didn't take shit from anyone, including the guys, and most of all she was my friend. Not because she had to be; she could either choose to accept you or reject you, her judgment was all based on who you were as a person. I think that had to be one of the qualities that I admired the most about her. Shalimar Fox was a strong yet sensitive woman that just plain had me wrapped around her little finger.
I am good with hiding my feelings from her. She has never said anything to me about the way I stare at her when she isn't looking, the unusual amount of touching I do when we are near, and the most tempting of course would be an occasional reading of emotions when we hang out; just to see if she is enjoying it as much as I am. Now mind you, I never invade her thoughts completely. I would never do that to one of my family without their permission. Give me a little credit, just because I am obsessed with the girl, doesn't mean I want to violate her; well at least not in that way! The only way Emma DeLauro gets her information is the old fashioned way, conversation.
Most would simply drop dead from sheer shock if they knew how open Shal was when it was just the two of us. She doesn't strike people as being the friendly type; especially with other women. But I can honestly say that with me, it's different. And believe you me, I'm not saying because I'm blinded with love for the girl; I am saying it because it's true.
We often got together at night when all the boys went to bed. We called it our "girly chats;" talking about everything from the latest mission, to the new abilities we are exploring both physically and mutant wise, and most importantly, we talked about who we were. In the short time I have known Shal, I have discovered things about her that she wasn't even aware of. She claims I am the reason she was more open with everyone; and, even had enough courage to explore the possibility of a relationship with Brennan. But that unfortunately, was the kicker.
I was falling for someone who didn't even know I was there; at least not in the way I wanted her to know. Things like this always seem to happen to me. I guess that is partially why I stopped developing crushes on people and kept mostly to myself. But not just anyone can turn my head; they have to have a certain something to get my attention.
The thing that did it for me when it came to Shal, was the fact that she was everything I wasn't. She was a stronger woman then I think I could ever be; and that was okay for me. I always saw myself being with someone who could let me be in control of the emotional aspect of the relationship, and they could be in charge of the rest. I have to admit the fact that Shal also didn't fall for just any ordinary Joe, was another reason I liked her. This may sound funny, but to me that shows signs of a good partner. It told me that she would be faithful to me no matter what.
There's only one word that describes me right now, and that is a mess. I am finding it hard to concentrate on what she is saying, because her eyes are so brown. They drive me crazy. Soft, yet sensual, I always see beauty when I look into them. And if she only knew what I was thinking when I looked at her mouth, she would blush from head to toe.
Oh God, she is leaning her head on my shoulder; okay Emma, just rest your head on hers. That's usually what she wants you to do, and don't forget to kiss her forehead, she likes that. Now she is barring her face into my neck. The feel of her hot breath on my skin, is making tiny hairs stand up all over my body. I can't help but close my eyes; the contact is turning me on that much! Shal, I hate to put a damper on your comfort level, but you are driving me nuts.
"Emma, Emma, are you listening to me?"
She is calling my name; must have sensed that I wasn't paying attention. She seems a little hurt that I was ignoring her; so I unwilling slip out my trance and snap back into reality.
"Yes, I'm listening."
"Okay, then what was I just talking about?"
"Brennan."
She looks me straight in the eye, and just snickers.
"You're guessing, aren't you?"
I'm more then positive, that the look on my face is a display of sure shock. I don't want to make her think that I didn't care, but I had my own problems to deal with.
"No?"
I say with a hint of nervousness in my voice.
"Uh-huh! Well, even if you were, you got lucky this time. God, am I that predictable?"
"Yes!"
I bust out laughing, as I point my finger at her. She quickly slams her shoulder into mine, giving me that don't tease me look, and I respond by pouncing on her. We are rolling around all over the floor, each of us trying to gain full control of the other. Because she is the stronger one, she of course, wins; and threatens to tickle me if I don't start giving her the much needed attention that she deserves. I can't resist being a smart ass back, and through my hands up in the air yelling oh no. She is clearly not amused now, and begins to tickle me.
"You are so mine!"
She grabs my waist and starts moving her fingers all over my stomach. She knows it is my most sensitive part of the body, and I immediately begin to squirm beneath her.
"Shalimar Fox if you don't stop that this instant..."
"You'll do what?"
"Oh, you don't want to know what I am capable of doing to you! Remember I have dirt!"
She just laughs at me, stops her tickling, and pulls me closer into a hug. We fall sideways unable to contain the giggles. We are so wound up now; we both know that any chances of going to bed are shot! The energy surging through our veins is enough to make a five year old boy jealous.
When we finally calm down enough to make out what the other one is saying I do something I would have never dared to do. I switch my position so that I am facing her. I just stare at her peaceful figure lying there, unaware of what I am about to do. She decided to join me, and the minute she turns her head, a piece of her blond hair falls into her eyes; and I proceed to push away. Her smile is almost instant. I make the mistake of thinking I sense I slight twinkle of interest in her eyes, and make my move. Leaning in closer and closer, slowly as to not frighten her; I place a small kiss upon her lips.
The look of terror that has taken over her face is enough to set me off. That wasn't exactly what she needed right now. I am not only scared of what she is going to do to me, but am overly disgusted with myself. How could I turn a completely innocent moment between two friends into a potential porno?
I can feel the tears build up in behind my eyes, and as she starts to sit up and say something to me, I loose it. I push myself off of the floor, and run out the door; escaping into the confines of my room, and locking the door behind me.
I don't know If I will ever be able to face her again, knowing what I have done, just might have ruined the best friendship I have ever had.
BACKCreated on ... May 05, 2003