I walked quietly, with purpose, down the mostly empty hallways of Sanctuary. I just wanted to get back to my room as quickly as possible, without running into anyone.
I'd spent more time in my room, alone, than anywhere else. That was mostly my fault. It had been a week since my less than stellar conversation with Brennan, after the fiasco with Toni.
A week spent avoiding each other, and everyone else too.
That too was my fault. Brennan tried to talk to me, tried to clear things up, but I wouldn't meet him half way. I didn't even want to be in the same room with him long enough for either of us to apologize. I suppose it was a good thing that things had been pretty slow lately, because I couldn't imagine having to work with him.
People were starting to worry.
Emma had cornered me four times in the past three days and Adam had tried to talk to me twice. Shalimar was next, I knew. I wanted to reassure them that everything was fine, but it wasn't, and I couldn't really lie to them.
I couldn't explain it either, I wasn't even sure I understood it myself.
I reached my bedroom, opened the door and walked inside. I had made it, without another well-meaning friend stopping me.
"Jesse."
Well, almost.
I turned around, not surprised to find Shalimar standing just outside my door.
"Hi." I moved aside, allowing her into my room.
"How are you?" She asked, and I could tell she wasn't really expecting the truth.
"I'm fine." I recited my standard answer.
"Bullshit."
I had to smile at that. Aside from Adam, I had known Shalimar the longest. We were part of Mutant X before Emma and Brennan had come. She was like the wild and crazy older sister I never had.
"I'm okay, really." I told her sitting down on the edge of my bed.
Shalimar stared at me for a second before nodding slightly. "You should talk to him. Soon."
I didn't even bother to act like I didn't know what she was talking about. "I will." I told her, knowing full well I had no intention of doing it.
"You can't go on like this." She told me. "You're avoiding everyone, everything. He's no better. We can't work like this."
Even though I knew from the start she was right, I think it was the reference to us, as a team, that got through to me the most. I stood up. "Okay, I'll go." She didn't look convinced. "Now."
I left her in my room and made my way to where Brennan's was. It wasn't very far, really, but down a hallway I had been avoiding since all this started. When I got there, I found his door slightly ajar, almost as if he was expecting me. Maybe he was.
I pushed the door open and saw him sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, reading. It was a welcome sight. He looked up at me and for a split second, he smiled, then his face shut down and he looked all serious.
I hated that look.
"Hey." I said, hoping I sounded less nervous than I felt. "Can I come in?"
Brennan nodded and set his book down.
"I'm sorry." The words seemed so out of place coming from his mouth I almost laughed.
"For what?" I asked. He didn't answer right away, so I plunged forward. "For introducing me to Toni, or for what happened afterwards?" I thought I knew what he was asking, and I didn't think it had anything to do with Toni, but I had to know if the ideas I'd been entertaining this past week were even partially on track.
Brennan chuckled slightly, transforming that expressionless look on his face. "Both, actually."
"Why?" I asked him, curious now.
Brennan shrugged.
"I'm sorry I freaked out last week. It... wasn't your fault, I guess I was a little touchy."
"About?" Brennan prompted, and his eyes seemed to be staring at me more intently now, like he was waiting for me to say something extremely important.
"Your question... about why she wasn't my type... I guess it sort of through me off, I didn't need your teasing me, not about that."
"I wasn't... I wouldn't..." Brennan stood up and stepped closer to me.
"I know. I should have known it then, I probably did, but..." I shrugged. "I was afraid."
Stepping closer, Brennan spoke again, his voice sounded lower, almost electric in itself. "Of me? Or this?" Then he closed the distance between us and our lips touched, barely more than a brush.
I felt something go through me, something strange and powerful, and if I didn't know better I would have thought Brennan had purposely electrified the touch of our lips. But I did know better, and I knew he hadn't done that.
He was looking up at me, a strange expression in his eyes, and I knew that he was just as surprised as I was.
"Yeah." I sighed as I breathed him in and willed myself to take a step back. "That's exactly what I was afraid of."
I tried to move further away, but he grasped my wrist and I could feel the thrum of energy emanating from him. I thought about changing my density, just a tad, enough to shake loose his grip, but did I really want to be loose?
"Don't." He spoke quietly, reading the thoughts almost as if they had been printed in one of his books.
"Okay." And I let him pull me closer and our lips were touching again, more than brushing this time.
They were moving against one another, almost as if this wasn't something new, something we'd never done, or talked about. My mouth opened, and his tongue slipped inside, like it wasn't meant to be anyplace else.
Then I moaned and he chuckled slightly against me and I forgot why I was fighting this.
****
This was unexpected. This kissing Jesse. Not unwanted, or even un-thought-of, just unexpected. He'd spent the past week avoiding me, and I had pretty much talked myself into believing I had really pissed him off with my pushing, that I was mistaken in that tiny sliver of hope that he might have been as attracted to me as I was to him.
Then he showed up here, in my room, and then I knew. I wasn't wrong, he wasn't mad, he was afraid. Of me, of *us*, of what we could be.
I've done some pretty stupid things in my life, my entire existence is pretty much riddled with them, but letting Jesse walk out that door wasn't going to be one of them. The moment I touched my lips to his, something happened.
I'm not sure what exactly, it was unlike anything I have ever experienced, including that one, brief kiss with Ashley Elliot. He felt it too, I could tell by the little surprised expression on his face. He tried to move away then, but I couldn't let him go.
I knew if he really wanted to he could get lose of the grip I had on his wrist, but apparently he didn't want to, because he didn't try. Instead we moved together again, and I could feel the heat of him, pouring into me as our lips made contact once again.
This was different, more deliberate, more powerful, more needy.
I don't remember how or when it happened, but somehow we ended up on my bed. By this time, our lips weren't the only thing in contact, and our clothing was becoming nothing more than a serious impediment.
It occurred to me, only vaguely, that we were about to have sex. We hadn't said more than ten words to one another in over a week, and we were about to have sex.
Not that I was complaining, but it seemed sort of surreal. Jesse didn't strike me as a one night stand sort of guy, which left me wondering exactly what I was doing. I wasn't known for having *actual* relationships.
Is that what I wanted? Is that what was going to happen? Is that what I was hoping for?
Yes.
The answer came almost immediately and with a sort of shocking stillness, like most earth-shattering revelations. I was frozen for a second, but Jesse had moved his mouth down my throat and was steadily moving southward, causing any and all thought processes to be put on hold.
I could feel this weird sort of sexual energy coursing through me, unlike any I had felt before. Was that me and my mutant ability, or was that something Jesse was doing to me, or was it a combination of the two, and did it really matter?
Deciding it really didn't, I flipped us over until I was leaning over him, his body naked beneath mine, shaking slightly with anticipation and need, his hazel eyes almost completely obscured by the pupil, making them look almost black.
I decided I liked that look and bent my head over his chest, taking a nipple between my lips and suckling lightly as my hands explored other areas of his body.
This was new, this thing between us, and our week of being apart seemed to have heightened something, and before long, he was moving against me, his body hard and slick with sweat, taking what I was offering it, demanding I take the same from him.
When it was over, we collapsed together on my now rumpled bed, and fell into an exhausted sleep. My last thought had me wondering what would happen now, and how difficult it would be to keep him just where he was now, in my bed, sated and apparently happy, if that soft smile on his lips was anything to go by.
*****
I woke up in a strange bed, facing a wall I was vaguely familiar with, and plastered against the warm heat of a welcoming body. Well at least *my* body found it welcoming. I, on the other hand, just found it disconcerting.
It took me about five seconds to remember where I was and who I was with, explaining the comfort I seemed to feel, regardless of the fact I was unused to sharing a bed, or sleeping naked and sticky.
Strangely, the realization that I was in Brennan's bed lessened the disconcerting feeling, not amplified it. What do you suppose that meant?
I lay my head back down on Brennan's chest and listened to his heart's regular breathing for a few minutes before carefully extracting myself and going into the bathroom. I wasn't going to disappear out of the door before Brennan awoke, but I wasn't going lay there feeling sweaty and sticky either, no matter how comfortable a pillow Brennan was.
I took a quick shower and shaved using Brennan's electric razor, which felt oddly normal, before going back into the room. Brennan was still asleep and I sat on the chair he had occupied the night before and just watched him sleep for awhile.
My mind was filled with a dozen questions. What exactly had possessed me to have sex with him? What would happen now? Did I *want* it to happen again?
I couldn't answer why it had happened, but I realized I wasn't much interested in how to explain it. I was, however, interested in seeing if it could happen again.
Which of course, brought about a whole slew of other questions.
Why had Brennan had sex with *me*? And did he want it to happen again? Was this just about sex, or did he want more. All good questions, unfortunately, all questions only he could answer.
I let my eyes wander over him. His was covered to the chest by a blanket, but my memory provided me with a clear image of what was hiding under there. When I reached his face, I found his eyes open, and a slightly amused expression on his face, as if he *knew* what I was thinking about. Maybe he did.
"Good morning." I whispered, afraid to break the peace of the morning.
"You're still here." His voice was still husky with sleep and did something to me that I couldn't quite explain.
"Yeah." I answered. "You want me to go?" Somehow I knew he didn't and I felt my lips twitching, itching to grin.
"No." Brennan sat up a little, letting the blanket dip lower. "Stay as long as you want."
"As long as I want?" I asked quietly, getting up and moving towards the bed.
Brennan shifted over, giving me room to sit down. "Yeah."
I sat on the edge and leaned over to kiss him, stopping just as I reached his lips. "We still need to talk."
"I know." He whispered before opening his mouth and inviting me in. Who am I to decline that sort of invitation?
Before the kiss could become something more, Adam's voice boomed into the room.
"Brennan, Jesse, we have a problem."
I sighed as Brennan responded. "On our way."
Brennan got out of bed, kissing me one last time before going into the bathroom, leaving me to wonder exactly how Adam knew that we would *both* be in Brennan's room.
******
When we got there, Adam, Emma and Shalimar were all wearing these expressions like they knew something we didn't, or at least thought they did, and were *extremely* pleased with themselves about it.
Thankfully, we really did have a problem, and Brennan and I were needed to help get a couple of New Mutants to the underground before Eckhart's goons found them. We left to head to where they were supposed to meet us, and strangely everything seemed normal.
I thought things would be weird and awkward because of what had happened, but it seemed like any other day. There were no uncomfortable silences, or things that I would normally say but felt too weird to say now.
There were still things we needed to talk about, but it didn't seem as odd as it should have.
Maybe that should have been my first clue.
****
The new Mutants, Mark and Isabelle were an odd pair. Isabelle was another elemental, and Mark was telekinetic. They seemed nice enough, but admittedly, I was thinking more about what I'd like to be doing once we dropped them off at a safe house.
It was weird being around another Elemental again. It wasn't anything like what happened with Ashley, or for that matter any other Mutant with similar abilities. I could feel a sort of buzz around her, but otherwise, nothing. Mark seemed to be overly interested in Jesse's abilities. I'm not sure how much of that was general interest, and how much of it was gratitude from when Jesse stepped in front of one the GSA's bullets. Either way, I would feel much better once they were gone.
I felt perfectly comfortable around Jesse, which was odd concerning the recent shift in our relationship. However, I suddenly felt a little edgy around everyone else. It was unlike anything I was used to and it was making me extremely nervous.
"What's wrong?" Jesse asked as he climbed back into the car after dropping off Isabelle and Mark. I backed the car out of the driveway, and didn't answer right away.
"I'm not sure." I told him, as I turned left.
Jesse checked in with Adam and told him we'd be back in a few hours, which was odd since I was thinking myself how nice it would be to spend a few hours away from Sanctuary.
We were silent for a few minutes as I drove towards this Italian place I hadn't been to in awhile.
"You want to share?" Jesse asked finally as I parked the car.
I turned to face him. "I don't know. It doesn't really make much sense." I shook my head, trying to figure out if it was all in my head. I felt fine now. "Back there, I just felt... off. I'm okay now."
Jesse stared at me for a few seconds; his eyes seemed to be looking into me. He placed his hand against my cheek and for a second I felt it go right through me. It was an odd sensation, but not necessarily unpleasant.
"You hungry?" He asked me.
It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but it was just what I needed.
It was odd that Jesse seemed to know that. We'd been friends for only a few months, and lovers, if you could call us that, for less than a day, but still he knew.
I climbed out of the car and followed him into the restaurant.
****