Episode Related: One Step Closer
Alternate Ending/Alternate Universe: AU
Series/Sequel: if you want any
Disclaimers: They aren't mine. Marvel Studios and the people associated with them do. I just borrow them and return them.
Summary: Shalimar's look at Jesse as he mourns and slowly dies after Brennan's death.
Warnings: Death of two major characters.
Notes: Brennan in this episode raised the question of his dying. I took it a bit further. What if he did die? What would happen to Jesse? This is told through Shalimar who see the changes Brennan's death has on Jesse and the
Mutant X team.
It's been a year. A really long year. A year spent regretting, accusing, seeing nothing, and losing people. And the one person we are losing is Jesse. A walk around Sanctuary remembering happier times and then I come to that glass enclosure that was supposed to make one life better and didn't. Brennan died that fateful day and he not only took Jesse's heart with him but a little bit of all of us.
It's been the hardest on Jesse. Jesse when he realized that Brennan was dead lost it but only for a brief moment. He didn't let himself lose control not while we still had the Senator's daughter to find and rescue. But after that rescue none of us went towards the bedroom that Jesse and Brennan shared. Jesse had barred himself in there and wouldn't let anyone near. It was awful to see or even to watch. Jesse was slowly dying. We had thought Jesse would snap out of it but he didn't. What we didn't know was that Jesse was dependent on Brennan and couldn't live without him. Brennan was the other half of Jesse's soul.
During this last year we lost Emma and Adam retreated more into his labs as well as himself. He had me search out new mutants to replace the ones that we had lost. We found them and I prayed that we wouldn't loose them and have to go and find any more people to replace our loved ones.
Jesse haunted the halls of Sanctuary. I always wondered if he scared the others. Kyle said that it was kinda sad. He didn't seem to mind helping to take care of Jesse. Jesse seemed to take to the new Elemental. He did snap out of darkness for a time. But something or someone reminded of Brennan and Jesse was back to his haunting. I had asked Adam about it at one time. He had said that Jesse was searching for his soul mate. I believe that. Jesse and Brennan were each other's soul mates. I sigh thinking of the changes that went through Jesse.
Jesse hardly ever participated in missions. He didn't speak or look at anyone very often. He kept to himself. He would stay in the bedroom he had shared with Brennan for hours even days or weeks on end. He had lost weight. Jesse's skin looked pale and translucent. He had kind of lackluster appearance. Connor had said that Jesse was waiting on death to come and take him home. I think Connor is right. I hate to see it but Jesse hasn't been apart of the team in along time. I can't think of anything else to do or say to get Jesse to live again. If only Brennan hadn't died. But he did. Powers that were out of control killed him. You hate to think about it but you have to wonder if your powers will be next to mutate and kill you. Adam had once said that it wasn't possible. But there is always that possibility.
I hear something in Jesse's room and go to see what it is. It's Jesse. He is rearranging Brennan's books again. But this time its different. I wonder if he is preparing to die. I have to prepare myself to mourn Jesse now like I did Brennan. I watch him for a while. I don't want to interrupt but I can't help but wonder if I need to say my goodbyes. I comm Adam and stand guard over the youngest member of the team. Tears start to stream down my cheeks. I don't want this. This will be two too many funerals for me. Two people I loved deeply will be gone from me forever. We are in a waiting game to see when Jesse dies instead of if. Adam joins me in my vigil. Jesse seems to either ignore our presence or doesn't know that we are here. We are constantly at his side.
It took a week for Jesse to die. The last days saw Jesse bedridden. He hardly moved. I bathed him and tried to feed him something with the help of either Kyle or Connor. I mostly cried. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of me. Both Kyle and Connor understood and left me alone to my grief. Adam joined me in that last night. All three of the new members of Mutant X came to say goodbye. Although they didn't know Jesse well they came out of love and concern for both Adam and me.
Now here I am looking a two graves setting side by side. One for Brennan and one for Jesse. I hope Jesse has found peace and that Brennan was there to guide him home. I put flowers on both graves and go to join Adam. He takes my hand and guides me to our car.
"It'll be alright, Shalimar. Neither one of them would want us to stop living." Adam pats my hand.
"I know, but I can't help but think of Jesse. He quit living and died." I reply.
"He lost his soul mate too soon, Shal."
I smile tentatively at Adam and we head for home. I rub my rounded belly and smile. Adam and I have created a new life. Possibly two from what the doctor says. I will name them after the two most wonderful guys if they are boys. I think Brennan and Jesse would like that.
"Bye guys. We love you." I whisper as I take one last look at their graves.
Jesse and Brennan looked down at their friends and both nodded. They would look after Adam and Shalimar's boys. They would be guardian angels for Mutant X.