Series/Sequel: if you want any
Disclaimers: They aren't mine. Marvel Studios and the people associated with them do. I just borrow them and return them.
Summary: Jesse's feelings about Brennan's powers while Emma helps him control them
Warnings: The title maybe misleading to some. Brennan as we all know survives his powers' mutating. This is Brennan looking at Jesse and his feelings towards his lover.
Notes: Episode related: One Step Closer. I was watching the rerun of this and had gotten to the scene where Brennan and Emma are in the glass enclosure so that she can help him control his powers. I am writing Brennan's POV as he watches Jesse going through all his worry and concern.
I look at Jesse and wonder what he is going through watching me go through my mutation. I love him so much. All I want to do is hold him but I know I can't. I keep pushing him away because I don't want to hurt or kill him with my out of control powers. I hope he knows I am only doing this because I love him.
I stand here in this glass enclosure with Emma and hope beyond hope that she can help me. I glance towards Jesse and see only love and worry in his eyes. I want to melt through the glass and put my arms around him. I want to make his world all better. And then it hits me outside of Shalimar I am his world. What he must be going through watching me self-destruct. Jesse, sweet, naive Jesse. I glance back at Emma who is watching me closely. Adam signals me to power up. I look at Jesse one last time before I do so. Jesse is in my thoughts as Emma is trying to help me. I want to hold the love of my life, to make love to him and see his smile. He hasn't smiled or laughed since my powers started to mutate. He just looks at me with worried filled blue eyes. My beautiful Jesse. He has reached his hand out at times to me and then snatched it away. It has broken my heart to see him do that or not to sit and wrap himself in my arms. Jesse likes to sit in my lap while we watch television or a movie. I haven't had a lap full of Jesse since this thing started.
I imagine those blue eyes so full of love and joy and worry. Especially worry. I saw it every time that we meet somewhere in Sanctuary. He would look at me with such sorrowful and worried eyes. I could detect a little pain in them too. The pain was from not being able to hold me and from me not being able to hold him. I hated being away from our bed at night and not sleeping beside him.
"Oh my poor Jesse. My heart breaks for you." I think around the pain.
I detect a slight movement from outside the enclosure. It's Jesse trying to reach for me. I can imagine the tears in his eyes. Finally, Emma and I drop to the floor of the enclosure. Shalimar runs towards me and Adam and Jesse go towards Emma. I look at Jesse his concern shows for Emma but I know his love and concern for me is there and will be shown later tonight. He smiles at me showing his love and concern. I give him a small smile back. I know that this will show Jesse that I know he was there for me if not physically but mentally and emotionally. We leave the enclosure after making sure that my powers are under control.
I glance back and see my wonderful Jesse hovering there. It's like he doesn't want me to leave or something. I could never leave Jesse and if I ever did decide to leave Sanctuary I would take him with me. I don't want to lose him like he doesn't want to lose me.
"I'm still here." I whisper to him.
I want to reassure him and smile at him to show him everything is all right. He smiles and nods his head to let me know that he understands what I meant.
"Later." He whispers back.I anticipate tonight with just that one word but first the Senator's daughter has to be rescued. The little girl is depending on us or more like me to get her out. I almost self-destructed but with help from people I call family I am still here and can thank them for letting me live one more day for not only them and others but most especially Jesse. This self-destruction got me to thinking that I don't want to lose anyone in my life and I don't want them to feel my loss if anything happened to me.
I can almost here Jesse walking down the hallways of Sanctuary towards me and our bed. I stand in the middle of the room waiting for him to come to bed. He opens the door and I stand there drinking in the sight of my one true love. I open my arms to him. He comes into them gratefully and I never want to let go.
I have him in my arms and he stirs. He wanted to make love to me tonight. I instinctively knew that he needed that and had no qualms in letting him have his way. He needed to make sure that I was still here and this was his way of assuring himself of that. Our lovemaking was sweet and wonderful tonight.
"I love you, Brennan." He says before drifting off to sleep.
I smile and kiss the top of his head before drifting back to sleep myself. I am alive and have my true love in my arms. We both are assured that neither one of us will be without the other one. We have now and forever or until we are old and gray. I smile at that thought and hope its true.
"I love you, Jesse." I say as my eyes close.