It begins with the rumors of an auction of telepaths.
But then the rumor fades into the ether of mutant urban legend and they're left scrambling to find them. However Adam, being Adam, pulls a few strings, whispers in a few select ears and they have a name.
Thomas Deveraux.
Young, the CEO of Deveraux Industries, with too much old money and no compunction against using anything to get what he wants - including emerging as the winner in this particular Internet auction. Brennan wonders if they haven't just seen the future of new mutants with men like him.
Adam briefs them in measured tones, but there's something else. Something almost expectant about him as he tells them that Deveraux has the telepaths already, cloistered away on his estate outside the city. They were going to go in and get them. A map appears before them, and possibilities and escapes routes start running through Brennan's mind. More out of habit than anything.
"I know him."
The words stumble forth from Jesse and he looks guilty when three pairs of eyes swing to him in surprise. Adam, Brennan notes, looks satisfied. Jesse ducks from them, the blonde hair brushing across his eyes. It makes him look impossibly young, and Brennan is one to talk, but he feels like he should reach over and just tell Jesse everything is going to be okay.
"From?" Adam prods with the expectation of someone who already knows the answer to his question.
"Boarding school," Jesse says softly. "We were friends...when I came back, I guess we sort of lost touch." He looks at Adam from beneath a curtain of lashes, everything about him saying he's sorry he's guilty of knowing this man. But Adam dismisses that immediately. It makes Brennan wonder what else Adam's sources revealed.
"How close?" Adam asks as he searches through his desk.
"Pretty close." There's the briefest hesitation there, but no one calls him on it.
"All right, we're going to have to take extra precautions then," Adam announces. "He's having a party tomorrow night. We're going to go in and get the telepaths out. Shalimar, you and Emma are going to work the crowd - there will be security and Deveraux to watch for... " Adam pauses, deliberately Brennan thinks.
"Jesse, maybe you should sit this one out? "
"No," Jesse says quickly, "let me do it - if nothing else I can keep him distracted."
It makes sense, but Brennan isn't comfortable with Jesse going in.
Adam stares Jesse down, that implacable Adam stare that Brennan sometimes thinks is Adam's mutancy. The power and the trust there are a combination no one has been able to resist. "All right, Jesse and Shalimar then. Brennan, you and Emma will find the telepaths and get them out. In the meantime, I have to get invitations."
The plan, like most of Adam's plans works like a charm. Armed with gold embossed invites, they get in easily. Emma at his side, Brennan mingles, watching with curiosity when Deveraux notices Jesse from across the room when he enters. The angular face, almost harsh while Brennan observes him, softens and Devereux looks as young as he really is. A few strides and the crowd parts for him until he's before Jesse - who, despite all their preparation, looks surprised. But before he can consider anything more, it's time to move. He follows Emma upstairs, which is a maze of rooms. They search one by one, silent and intent on their task, but there's nothing.
"Adam...they're not here," Emma reports finally. The last bedroom is a mess - the bed unmade and clothes scattered around. There's a novel, on the desk, new with the pages still unbent.
"Are you sure?" the disembodied voice asks and Brennan wishes Emma would just do it - search them out, but there's not time, and not enough control.
"Yes.." she hisses before her eyes widen and she stiffens suddenly and instinct tells Brennan what to expect, but still the ominous click of a gun behind him is a surprise.
"Turn around."
The words are an order but energy is already gathering at his fingertips. Emma puts her hands up in submission, but he can see that she's ready, which makes Brennan grateful that she's started working out with him and Jesse, because this is going to get messy. He turns then, blocking her, ready to strike when his reflexes kick in. The energy dies.
Deveraux is there and he's of all things - curious. He watches the energy die at Brennan's fingertips.
"The police are on the way," he says without preamble. He slides his hands into his dark slacks, casual and cool like every picture in his file. It makes Brennan want to hit him with a bolt anyway if only to ruffle the perfect hair and clothes.
"Where are the telepaths?" Emma asks, and her voice just manages not to break.
Deveraux nods at his men and they're well trained because the guns are lowered immediately. It does nothing for Brennan's unease.
"They're safe," Deveraux says and Brennan suppresses the urge to roll his eyes. "You buy them, and we're supposed to take your word that they're safe?" he asks. Eyes, dark, shuttered, swing to him.
"You break into my home, and I'm supposed to take your word that you want to help them?" Deveraux asks mildly.
Brennan doesn't answer, is saved from it because Jesse appears, pushing the door open and says questioningly, "Thomas?"
"Go back downstairs, Jesse," Deveraux says turning to him. Brennan wants to laugh at that because it's an order given by someone used to being obeyed and with no inkling of who Jesse is. Now, anyway.
He tenses, ready to move, but instead Jesse says,"They're my friends."
It's the wrong thing to say and every instinct in Brennan is telling him, now, run, move, because Deveraux's face darkens and this is what it takes, Brennan thinks, but he's ready, energy pooling inside him, all he has to do is wait on Jesse's signal, but it never comes.
"Call, say it was a false alarm," Deveraux orders his men. They disappear like the well-trained muscle they are. Jesse walks in, unafraid and definitely not massing. "Friends?" Deveraux questions and something old... and hurt surfaces in the room.
Jesse nods and the confirmation earns a snort of derision from Deveraux.
"Well, like I said, the telepaths are safe. You know the way out?" Deveraux snaps. It's a dismissal Brennan and Emma reluctantly obey, but Jesse remains where he is, as immovable as if he had massed.
"I'll catch up with you guys later," he says.
Deveraux says nothing. Then tension draws tighter, and Brennan is seriously considering knocking Deveraux unconscious when Adam's voice filters over his comm link.
"Leave it. Report back to Sanctuary."
At Sanctuary Adam gives nothing away, least of all why he seems to trust Deveraux. Or maybe it's just Jesse. Either way it's a long night until Jesse and Shalimar reappear in the middle of their theories on the fate of the telepaths and Deveraux's motives. Jesse's dislike of their conversation shows and it leaves Brennan feeling like there are lines where there had been none before.
"We don't know why he's done this, Jesse," Emma says. "All we have is his word that the telepaths are safe."
"It doesn't make sense. Even if they are safe, what's he up to?" Brennan adds.
Jesse's eyes narrow with each word. He hands Adam a disc.
"They're safe. With new names and identities."
"Why would he do this?" Adam asks even as the console flickers to life showing them the files of the telepaths.
"I don't know."
Which means this isn't over.
"It's tight..."
"It is not."
"Shaal..."
"Oh be quiet! Trust me, you look good."
Shalimar's voice, low and teasing drifts out into the corridor.
And this is one of the more regular conversations that occur in Sanctuary. Still there 's no way Brennan's going to let that go.
The room is in chaos and in the middle of it all is Jesse, currently with just a pair of black jeans on. Brennan convinces himself that noticing how worn the jeans look or how they cleave to every muscle and sinew is acceptable because he'd have to be blind not to. Shalimar certainly does as she runs an appreciative eye over him. Jesse, for his part, remains oblivious, or maybe it's because it's Shalimar, but there are times Brennan wonders if his teammate owns a mirror. Rummaging in his closet, Jesse pulls on a black T-shirt and turns around. It's the absence of color that strikes him first, because there is only pale skin against the black. Stark, open, Jesse turns to him and then Brennan sighs because he finds color and comfort and to his relief Jesse there staring back at him.
"Got it!"
Emma barrels past him, waving a pencil at Shalimar. There is a too satisfied smile before Shalimar pushes Jesse to the bed and wields the pencil like a weapon.
"Look up and stay still," she orders, prying his thighs open with a knee on the bed. Jesse obeys meekly and just manages to keep from jumping as Shalimar runs the pencil along his eye. Brennan tries to remember to breathe.
"Someone want to let me in on the secret?" he asks.
"I just like feeling pretty," Jesse quips. Brennan snickers obligingly, but something doesn't feel right.
"I'm going out tonight... a club," Jesse manages to say before Shalimar holds him still, her fingers digging into his cheeks as she starts on his other eye with an air of long - suffering practice.
"Cool, up for some company?"
It occurs to Brennan that Jesse's furious blush should have been warning enough, not to mention the irritated glance Emma sends his way.
"It's a date," Jesse explains. "With Thomas."
"Deveraux?" he blurts. Control flees and Brennan ignores the ease with which it does because he tells himself that this is Jesse and because of that, he's right to be concerned. For him, for the team, and for New Mutants everywhere.
His powers of rationalization, it seems, have not failed him.
Shalimar steps back surveying her work.
This Jesse...this Jesse is marked, by the clothes and by Shalimar as much as Brennan is. He soaks this creature in - every expression, every movement - like sunshine after he's been in Sanctuary too long. This one that he hasn't allowed himself to see.
"Brennan?" Earnest now and it makes Brennan think that just maybe Jesse deserves understanding more than this thing that's masquerading as his concern for him.
"He called, he asked me out," is the vague explanation.
Jesse, however makes it sound breathtakingly simple and finally it sinks in that Jesse wants this.
"His information checked out, Brennan. The telepaths are safe."
Brennan's mind kicks into gear and he goes with it, with this concern Jesse thinks is his problem.
"And that makes it all right to trust him?"
"No. But I do."
And there's nothing Brennan can do but watch him leave.
He should have kept his mouth shut, should have been more convincing...and the image of Jesse eyes bearing down on Brennan flashes before him. He should have told him not to go, should have gone to Adam and told him what Jesse was doing even if it would have made him feel like he was twelve again. Even if Adam knew anyway. Brennan sighs.
"Don't go."
He should have said that.
They're at breakfast the next morning when Jesse comes in. It's a relief, Brennan thinks, after a long night of turning his behavior over from every angle, to see Jesse come in like this. Now across the expanse of Sanctuary, Brennan can wonder in safety because Jesse is off limits. He wants someone else. Teammates and working together and Mutant X are all good excuses not to try, but Jesse this morning is the best excuse after all.
"Have a good time, Jesse?" Adam asks casually.
"Yeah," Jesse mumbles before he blushes and runs upstairs. A door slams, Emma giggles, Shalimar laughs and Adam sips at his coffee with the most pleased small smile. Cradled like this in easy laughter, Brennan convinces himself of the inevitability of failure had Jesse even wanted him like that.
It's an easy thing to do.
Later, showered and changed Jesse reports that the sale of the telepaths is the least of their problems. The pair were identified.
"The telepaths were just the beginning. The email he received about the auction hinted at something else...but didn't say what."
Identified, categorized, marked with a yellow star or a subdermal governor, it's all the same. How do you hide when there's no place you won't be found?
"Was there any indication as to who sent the email?" Adam asks, his face twisting in disgust.
"No, there was a bank account number in a second email when Thomas placed a winning bid. He found the telepaths in a cargo container at his warehouse. He's going to foward the emails to me today. But there hasn't been anything since then."
Brennan wants to know why the sellers would think Deveraux would be interested in the first place, but he doesn't say anything. Looking at Jesse like this, alive, brimming with it, keeping silent is easy.
"What now?" Shalimar growls, twisting a strand of blonde hair viciously.
"We wait. We try and track down who else received these emails and maybe come up with an idea of who sent them," Adam says.
They find nothing - the emails, a dead end with no trace of the sender's account. So they wait and Jesse starts *dating* Thomas. Morning returns become common and everyone takes to it easily. Brennan knows he should too, for Jesse, but Thomas is this spectre, following Jesse everywhere and Brennan sees nothing else. It's what drives him to broach the subject of bringing Thomas to Sanctuary.
To his turf.
"Adam?" Jesse prods.
"If you like, he's welcome anytime," Adam shrugs. It's an enthusiastic welcome by Adam's standards.
"Tonight? We're going out, but I guess I could bring him by."
"So where are you two love birds off to?" Shalimar teases from the other couch.
"Evolution," Jesse says. Shalimar raises an eyebrow in appreciation at the name. It's one of the more popular, not to mention exclusive clubs around.
"Well, Shalimar and I will be at home then, right here," Emma sighs theatrically, "making the world a safer place and all..."
That earns a grin from Jesse. With those two doing a tag team guilt trip, he doesn't stand a chance.
"Would you guys like to come ?" Jesse asks and Brennan realizes he's included in the invitation too.
"Since you asked so nicely," Shalimar purrs. "We'd love to." "I'll do your eyes again if you want."
Jesse nods, a little to eagerly for Brennan's piece of mind. He wonders if he can get away with melting their make-up cases. Jesse, his eyes, piercing him, possibilities staring him down is his new favorite torment, despite his earlier convictions that all of this is for the best.
"Actually I have a better idea," Emma says slowly. An enigmatic smile surfaces, too reminiscent of Adam for Brennan's liking. Shalimar looks intrigued, Jesse afraid, and Brennan thinks he might not make it to the end of the night at all.
"Well, then, this should be interesting," Adam murmurs.
The question has plagued him, and he figures knowing a little bit more about Devereaux can't be a bad thing.
"Jesse knew him in school, " wafts from behind him.
"So they were friends?"
Brennan goes for casual and falls far short. He can practically feel Adam's eyes on the back of his head.
"Yes. Apparently very close, until Jesse's mom brought him to me. Jesse's mentioned him only once or twice before."
Brennan knows this part - Jesse needed control and Adam gave it to him, though he wonders how close friends they are that Deveraux has only been mentioned once or twice before. But the thing is, leaving the past behind is something he can understand too easily.
"Close, huh?" Brennan repeats.
"I think that's pretty obvious by now, Brennan," Adams says.
"Is that why you wanted to see him alone?"
It's a shot in the dark, but it hits him how Adam was a little too insistent earlier at meeting Deveraux. He's waiting at the Deveraux Industries building for them and Brennan feels like he's seeing for the first time, because Adam is *meeting* Deveraux. Going to him and it brings up possibilities Brennan wasn't even aware of.
Deveraux enters the Double Helix, a long black coat sweeping behind him. His dark hair is slicked back and there's a flush to his angular cheeks that makes Brennan wonder if maybe he's nervous. It's an amusing thought until Brennan remembers he's on the other side... doing the assessing. It's permanent and sobering and Brennan can't imagine how it got to this stage anyway. Or how lost he feels.
"Adam?" Deveraux says with a familiarity already. Jesse, Brennan supposes.
"Thomas," Adam greets him, accommodating, unimposing. Deveraux responds extending his hand.
Adam, with his gift for understatement, introduces them.
"This is Brennan. I believe you've met."
"Yes, we have."
Assessing and challenging even as his words are friendly.
"My apologies for my behavior," he says. "I had no idea you were with Jesse or Mutant X for that matter."
"I suppose that whole breaking and entering thing didn't help..."
It's lame and barely enough, but it's all he's capable of.
"Shall we go? I'm somewhat afraid to leave Jesse alone with Shalimar and Emma too long," Adam says. It elicits a grin from Thomas. Brennan wonders exactly what Jesse's been telling him.
Deveraux, his vision cloaked discusses the finer points of business on the way back.
Adam likes him. That much is obvious.
It's a long trip.
Maybe a plague?
A new mutant on the rampage?
Brennan rubs his hands along his thighs absently. Already he wants this night to be over.
God. Jesse.
In leather no less. Soft, leather molded to his body, rescued no doubt from the depths of his closet. His shirt is blue liquid over him, over every hand gesture, every movement when he rises to greet them ...and shows them what else Shalimar and Emma have been up to.
Eyes...lids shadowed, and blue, fathomless and dark. Jesse marked. The effect is one of seduced innocence that's more of a turn on than Brennan ever thought possible. Jesse takes Deveraux's cloak off and he blinks in the light before he focuses on Jesse. That transformation again, for Jesse, by Jesse.
"Hi..."
Add shyness and no one stands a chance.
"Hey..." Thomas says and they drift close together, while Adam watches like an indulgent parent.
They show him Sanctuary and it wows Deveraux like it does everyone. After an excruciating half hour, Shalimar and Emma make their entrance and still manage to earn appreciative once overs from everyone there.
The small talk seems to go on forever and Brennan ignores the irritated glances his grunts earn him from Emma. Maybe he's broadcasting, but he could care less.
"Shall we go?" Deveraux inquires. He offers Emma and Shalimar an arm each, leaving a bemused Jesse with Brennan.
"I am in your hands, ladies..." he says when Shalimar attaches a vision cloak again.
"Have fun," Adam says a little too eagerly, especially since the comm system shows an incoming call. Salvation, Brennan thinks, but Adam's beats him to the call.
"Bye, Brennan," he says pointedly before Brennan can say anything.
Right.
Everyone deserves a night off he supposes.
"I wanted to apologize for the other night..." Emma says, but Deveraux waves her apology away with a brilliant smile.
"Please don't. We were both trying to do the right thing, just from different angles."
Emma stops then and finally, finally someone asks.
"Why?"
Deveraux ducks his head and it's shy and attractive with dark hair brushing his eyes. Most of all it begs to be believed. Brennan is willing to lay odds Deveraux knows it too.
"I could tell you that...whoever sent the email is selling people, new mutants or not, it doesn't matter to me. They need to be stopped...I could tell you that I found out Mutant X was searching for the telepaths and that I'm just biding my time until I get another email," Deveraux says easily. Brennan tenses, and he can feel Shalimar do the same but doesn't dare risk a look at Jesse. He wonders how Deveraux doesn't turn around. The street is dark, and the shadows cling to him while he faces Emma. Her arm slips from his grasp.
"Then I could tell you I lost someone close to me because he was a New Mutant, and I had to let him go because I had no choice in the matter. I could tell you I missed my friend, and that I probably cared for him more than a friend should..." Deveraux shrugs, a graceful movement of broad shoulders, but doesn't turn around.
"I don't know if you'd believe me, because frankly it's a cliche and they're the best lies. I don't know if I'd believe me either."
Still, he doesn't turn, and Jesse...Brennan looks, can't not look...Jesse is a statue in leather and make-up, his expression blank after Deveraux is done. A heartbeat later he breathes, a harsh sound in the darkness of the street and says,
"We're here."
The club is alive, it thrums with energy, sex and a thousand different appetites generated by the sea of bodies on the floor. They get in easily - actually all it seems to take is Deveraux's name and they're ushered inside to a booth at the far end of the dance floor. They barely have time to sit before Shalimar is on the prowl and Emma...Emma looks like Alice in Wonderland.
"Shall we?" Jesse asks, coaxing Emma out to the floor.
Brennan wonders how to get out of this, because no good whatsoever can come from him and Deveraux alone. He proves it by challenging Deveraux, as much as he knows he shouldn't. But Jesse is out there, and this affects all of them...and that's how the words make it past his lips.
"He doesn't belong to you..."
Or him, because there's Mutant X, this thing they bear willingly and Brennan knows now what forever is. Knows that this is what they are. Hasn't realized how much he's holding on to that.
Deveraux blinks in surprise as if he had already resigned himself to this strained silence between them.
"Brennan...I'll take Jesse anyway I can get him..." Deveraux says. The words are a revelation, painful, stabbing away at this carefully constructed shell around him.
"I can share him with Sanctuary and Mutant X, Brennan. And if he has to keep us separate for a while, because he doesn't want me hurt, and if he thinks he can protect me I can live with that too. Besides which, I run a company; you and Mutant X save lives. It's not something I would want to compete with. He's made a choice. He always does. And I can live with that. " Deveraux falls silent, done. After his declaration earlier in the evening, Brennan sees their lives intertwined with this man's and Jesse walking the line in between. The music's dull now, he isn't sure he can hear it because Brennan's focused on the man before him and every night after this one. He knows the moment it hits Deveraux, the eyes sharp, piercing him and then more than he can bear, because Deveraux understands.
What it's like to want Jesse.
"God, this is great," Emma flops down next to him along the outside curve of the booth and Jesse sits next to Deveraux. The world starts moving again, blessedly loud. Jesse's smile leeches out of him as he looks the two of them. He's not sure whether they're broadcasting or not because Emma's up again almost immediately and dragging him along as well.
"Come dance with me."
Brennan puts the conversation out of his mind and follows her. He doesn't look back.
It's easy to lose himself in the crowd, in the press of the bodies against him. Someone else takes Emma's place, and then another, and another until the faces bleed into one another and thats just fine with him. Eventually, he searches the crowd for the others. Emma is dancing up close with a blond, slowly swaying, too slow for this place but no one really cares. Shalimar is surrounded and loving it, while Jesse...
They're a perfect fit; even he has to admit that. Muscle against muscle, moving in sync, to their own rhythm while around them chaos reigns. They're anchored. He watches them, watches them move together, watches Jesse kiss Thomas with the intensity with which he does everything until the crowd swallows them whole.
It does the same to him.
The next morning Jesse's already up nursing a cup of coffee when Brennan awakens.
"Morning..." he says blearily.
"Hey..." Jesse returns a little absently. "Did you have a good time last night?"
The question is achingly polite and it earns a double take from Brennan.
"Yeah...it was good," Brennan says. "Jess, is everything ok?"
"Morning..."
Emma and Shalimar sweep in, both a making a beeline for him and the coffee pot. Shalimar helps herself to his mug while Emma steals the pot and pours her own. Brennan sighs, accepts his lot and grabs another mug.
"Did you two have a good time?" Jesse asks. There's just the slightest teasing note to his voice, as these two had to be pried away from the club.
"You could say that..." Shalimar replies, plopping down next to him. Emma in the meantime blushes into her coffee cup.
"Where's Adam?" Shalimar asks.
"Ummm, he had to drop off his date..."
They giggle, like kids finding out their father's dating, and the general consensus is that Adam is no way going to live this down.
"We didn't expect you back this early, Jess," Emma says.
"Thomas had a meeting," Jesse replies and then stops. Everyone does too, because Jesse is demanding it, in his utter stillness.
"I opened up my mom's place. And I had these made."
He pushes two keys into the middle of the table. Shalimar's mug lands on the table with an audible thunk.
"You still have yours, right?" he asks, and she nods sharply.
"Jess?" Emma questions holding up the key.
Jesse sighs tiredly.
"I figure it's time," he murmurs. Shalimar reaches for his hand across the table and squeezes. He looks up and Brennan sees pain there, old, shared between them.
"I thought, maybe we could use it... a place that isn't Sanctuary, you know for us. I haven't been there in a while not since my mom died... until last night. I mean, it's easier you know, showing someone an apartment than here."
Emma shoots him an encouraging grin, before she says gravely, "Thank you." She drags Brennan away leaving Shalimar and Jesse together, talking softly and not even noticing they're gone.
"Leave them," Emma says, her voice, soft and steel at the same time. She leads him to the meditation pool and Brennan sits down next to her, surrounded by her, lavender and coffee.
"He's in love."
Brennan starts, but Emma shrugs.
"Or he's learning how to be again."
It's a warning and advice, Brennan isn't sure what. Either way he has the right answer for her.
"I know."
"I've opened up the apartment again..."
"I'll just catch you later, Adam" Brennan says a little too loudly, announcing his presence in the lab. Jesse starts, but the surprise is just as quickly gone.
"It's okay, Bren," Jesse says swinging back to Adam.
"I'm glad to hear you say that," Adam says, and Brennan is sure there is more relief there than he's ever heard before.
"I was thinking...that if you wanted, I could install some of the Sanctuary's systems there. Separate from the safe houses, and here..." Jesse adds.
Morosely Brennan wonders if he hasn't just heard the beginning of the end and then decides to ignore this penchant for melodrama he seems to have developed. Adam softens and nods.
"I'm not sure Eve would have approved, though," he says and Jesse visibly lightens at his mother's name and this shared joke.
"Nah...it's okay, she really did like you, even if she gave you such a hard time," he replies.
Adam chuckles and gestures at the lab.
"Take what you need," he says.
Jesse nods, pleased. Brennan knows that his suggestion makes sense, that a second base, separate from the vulnerable safe houses is something they should have, but he remembers his conversation with Deveraux, wonders what it would take to bring him into their fold and then asks himself if it can be done anyway. Futures, partners and a dozen different possibilities race through his mind, beyond Jesse...ones that he hadn't really thought about when he signed on. Or ever. Because saving new mutants is what mattered. The irony is Mutant X gives him a choice he's never been sure he deserved. He's just not sure how to take it.
"Bren?" Jesse says concerned.
Brennan smiles, carefully shutting everything away.
"Need some help?"
They never make it to the apartment.
It ends with a mission. A boy unable to control his mutancy - fire linked to his emotions which results in him burning down his family's apartment block. They make it just in time to spirit the family away, tuck them into a safe house where new identities are waiting. By the next day they will have new lives on the other side of the country with a teacher handpicked by Adam for the boy. It's an evening's work well done, and they're pleased with themselves and it shows. Emma is attached to his arm, laughing just because, while Shalimar is with Jesse, teasing him mercilessly.
"So where are you off to tonight, loverboy?" she purrs in his ear. Jesse grins. She makes it sound tawdry and illicit just by virtue of the fact that she's talking, and Jesse goes right along with it.
"You'll never know..." he shoots back. Emma giggles and Shalimar mock pouts.
"I can," Emma says, her eyes dancing. "So Jesse...what is it between you and silk hmmm?"
"Emma..." Jesse whines and she laughs against Brennan's arm.
"Ok, ok, my lips are sealed," she says.
"I'll catch you guys later..."
He never does.
The call comes in later that night.
"Adam..." Jesse's voice echoes through Sanctuary and brings them all to the comm link speakers.
"Jesse? I'm here..." Adam says shooting the comm system a concerned look.
"Adam...Oh God..." Jesse's voice is hushed and there's the sound of gunfire, cruel and harsh and loud. So loud echoing through Sanctuary.
Silence.
"The warehouse...We're at the warehouse..."
Harsh breathing...
"Christ...this isn't happening...this isn't happening..."
Whispered, the words are a fervent prayer...but they all hear him screaming for them and they're moving already...but they're going to be too late. They know it too.
"Jess we're on our way..." Adam tries, but there's no answer.
Blood.
It's the only thing that registers for Brennan and he stops, because in the middle of it all is Jesse.
"Brennan..." Adam hisses and his body knows to help, knows to turn Jesse over, watch as Adam checks his pulse and the two bullet holes in him. Mocking them all.
"We have to get him out of here now..." He's alive, Jesse is alive...the words turn themselves over in his mind, an infinite loop.
"Adam..."
Emma, her voice hushed, over Deveraux, and there's no need to say anymore because she has blood on her hands too and tears in her eyes before she swallows them down because this isn't the time for this. Not now.
"Adam..."
Shalimar crouching at more bodies.
"Adam...this is Sonja," she says. She checks the others around the Russian inventor, her eyes wide when she looks up.
"These guys are alive..."
"Ok, Emma...here," he throws her the phone and nods at Brennan.
Jesse groans.
Home.
Brennan waits, watches Adam work. He's helpless to Adam, to fate and chance and he hates it. Hates that everything is wrapped up in one person on the table, hates that he could lose him. The warehouse is imprinted in his mind; a map that reads easily, that shows even invulnerability is a myth when faced with odds no one can beat. "How's Jesse?" Emma asks when they return. Shalimar hefts a silver suitcase on to the table and for an insane instant Brennan thinks he's reliving a bad detective story because she opens it and there's money.
"Stable," Brennan mumurs looking at them quizzically.
"Sonja had that," Shalimar says.
"And Thomas, this," Emma holds up a disk.
"Fuck..." Brennan curses softly.
"Her men are alive, just barely. And we found two security guards as well, both still alive."
Brennan takes small consolation in the fact that Sonja is dead. He would have preferred something slow and a lot more personal.
"As far as we can figure, the warehouse security guards interrupted an exchange," Emma gestures at the disk. She looks up anxiously when Adam enters. He goes to run a hand through his curls and notices the blood on his sleeve. The hand falls away and he announces,
"He's going to be okay. He's still sedated, though."
Adam casts a speculative glance at the briefcase and disk before he inserts it in a console and the screen flickers to life.
"Plans," he announces. "For the Pushka and ...a mutant id unit."
Deveraux.
"He left a message at the apartment. He received another email for an immediate meeting and exchange...the plans..."
Jesse remains fixated on the spot behind Adam, at nothing or everything, he doesn't know. It scares him, this Jesse unearthly still.
"We found the disk..."
Adam now, and Jesse's voice swings to him.
"I walked right into it...and I couldn't do anything...I didn't know it was Sonja until I got there...and she recognised me..."
Jesse's eyes close shutting them out.
Adam lets Jesse move upstairs eventually and the three of them hover, afraid to leave him because they're all sure they will lose him. They take turns sitting with him.
"You don't have to stay."
Brennan starts at that and looks up from his book to find himself pinned by the steady blue eyes that reveal nothing. It's late and Shalimar has promised to sit with Jesse tonight, but Brennan won't leave until she's there.
"I'd like to if that's okay," he replies carefully.
"Whatever."
Neutral and Brennan desperately wishes for something, anything besides that impossible, immovable facade.
A figure at the door gestures to him and Shalimar is there in pink pajamas, but still she looks like she's going to battle.
"Anything?"
Brennan shrugs.
"Okay, this has got to stop."
She prowls across the room and crawls into bed with Jesse, lying next to him. He looks at her blankly until she pulls him close; their blonde heads bent together. Brennan switches the light off, and prays that this is a start.
Solid, dependable Jesse.
Brennan has never hated anything so much. Jesse's been on missions, and they're a team again, in sync working as before. But Jesse...Jesse's there and not.
"I thought I might get started on the apartment, Adam," Jesse announces one morning. He continues as if everyone hasn't just stopped.
"Thomas left some stuff there as well. I figured I might as well pack it up."
It's the first sign they've had in weeks and Brennan for one isn't going to let it go.
"Would you like some help?" he asks.
Adam shoots him a grateful glance, while Jesse remains fixated on the screen in front of him.
"If you like."
He'll take what he can get.
The place is half-packed already, or unpacked, Brennan isn't sure. There are boxes strewn all over, but still it's easy to feel the elegance in the place. A woman's touch making it Jesse's home, but it's a part of him that's been carefully wrapped away.
There are photos, an adolescent Jesse, innocent there, happy with a woman whose eyes are as startling as his. A studio portrait with his father conspicuously absent. And a teenage Jesse, arm around the shoulder of someone who could only be Thomas. It's a journey into the past, in tune with the future and...now everything is different.
"Pack it all up," Jesse says from behind him. He sets down some boxes on the centre table.
"I figure I can set up a system here," he says encompassing most of the first floor of the apartment. Everything wiped out in a clean sweep. Sterile and mechanical like parts of Sanctuary. Easier to handle than what's there now.
"What about Thomas's stuff?" Brennan says. It's a low blow, but Brennan can play dirty if he wants to. And Jesse needs this. He doesn't get an answer, but still Jesse goes upstairs.Even if he does stumble on the first step.
Brennan gives him time, exploring what he can downstairs. Finally though the silence gets to him, and Brennan goes upstairs through the empty rooms scattered with more boxes and remnants of the past.
Jesse is in the last, mechanically folding some clothes, putting them away.
"Hi..." Brennan says and Jesse looks up briefly, acknowledging him. The sheets are next, stripped off the bed and folded. Sunlight through the windows cast him in a golden glow, an unearthly figure with sadness etched into every line of his body, his face.
"I thought you might want this up here," Brennan says, offering him the photo. Maybe it's the photo, or maybe Jesse's just tired, but he takes the photo of Thomas and him and sinks down onto the bed. He buries his head in his hands, and Brennan is helpless again.
"I'm sorry," Brennan says. Trite, ineffective words and Jesse bows his head as if to curl into himself.
"Busy?" Jesse asks brightly, poking his head into the room. Too brightly, Brennan thinks but he's already shaking his head.
"Do you want to work out with me?"
Brennan blinks in surprise. There's too much in that one sentence to say no to, and he grabs on to it with both hands.
And hour later it's Jesse he's grabbing onto. He succeeds in keeping his arms still, but Jesse isn't done. He struggles against Brennan and Brennan finds himself chilled to the bone because there's just rage in him. Jesse sweeps his legs from under him and there's the weight of him straddling his hips, breath harsh, and then a crack. Sharp and too loud as massed, Jesse lashes out, his fist slamming into the floor beside Brennan's head.
Breathe.
The sound echoes, or doesn't because there's a rush like Brennan's drowning in the rage ...and then a yawning silence. Understanding dawns for Jesse, Brennan can pick the moment, and desperately he holds onto him, keeping him there until the rage subsides because if he lets go, he's not sure he'll get Jesse back.
"Again?" he asks.
Sleep seems to be a luxury that Jesse cannot afford anymore. It's Emma that Brennan hears. Soft and coaxing like the memories of his mom long ago.
"Jesse...come on, wake up..."
Brennan's heart sinks. Not again. Another night, and Jesse's fallen asleep in front of the computer again. Brennan jogs up the stairs and sees Emma kneeling at Jesse's side, threading her hands through his hair.
"Jess?"
"Emma?" Jesse mumbles finally, his eyes flicking open.
"Yeah...you fell asleep."
She's gentle with him, and that earns her a sleepy smile from Jesse before he sees Brennan.
"Morning," Brennan says just barely managing to keep his voice even. Not enough, apparently.
"Guess I did it again huh?"
Guilt now, because they've covered this conversation too many times.
"Guess so," Brennan replies. Jesse yawns and Brennan wonders how long he can keep this up. "Come on..." Emma flips the armrests away and Jesse rises, stretching.
"Thanks," Jesse mumbles. He heads for the stairs, just stumbling when Brennan manages to catch him. There's a wan smile, and like this, so close, grief is like a wave crashing against him. Jesse's as helpless as they are. Brennan squeezes the arm he's holding. Just enough and Jesse gets it, he nods and the tide banks, just a little bit.
He hadn't really meant to ask, but he was dressing and Jesse was curious.
"Do you want to come too?"
The words leave his mouth before he has a chance to *think* what he's saying. An invitation to a birthday party thats a foray into his past. The guest list will no doubt read like a list of friends of friends of f riends, and Jesse will know no - one there, but still he says,
"Yes."
Three hours ago it was a good idea. Now Jesse looks like an animal in a cage. There's a roar in the crowd when Dominic appears, a surge of bodies against each other when the music starts again. When Brennan looks for Jesse next, he's gone.
Metal being pounded. The sound rends the night air, harsh and unforgiving. He sees Jesse stumble forth from between an Audi and a BMW.
"Jesse?" Brennan tries. Jesse turns to him...wild. They're close and there's heat and frustration rolling off Jesse in waves. Brennan wants to hold him...but waits.
"Brennan?" Fingers digging into shoulders now, holding on, and Jesse leans his forehead against him. Brennan can't move.
Won't even if Dominic comes tearing through the parking lot swearing revenge for his beloved BMW.
"Yeah..."
Jesse blinks and he's *there* with Brennan. He turns to the BMW blankly. The front is crumpled in.
"Oh."
"Well...it is a crime," Brennan says thoughtfully. Jesse's eyes widen almost comically.
"Yellow BMW?" he explains. "Yellow anything, really."
Jesse laughs. Softly, weakly, but still it's something. His eyes crinkle in amusement and the tension twisting tight leaves them.
"Do you want to go back?" he asks.
"Nope. I think I'd better make myself scarce for a while. That's Dom's car."
Now Brennan laughs because Jesse is endearingly horrified.
"Come on, let's go home."
The drive back is slow, the darkness settles on them like an old blanket. Comfortable, they're wrapped in it and aimless conversation. They're home far too soon.
"I had a good time tonight," Jesse says thoughtfully, as if they were the most important words he'd ever utter. Brennan nods gravely, accepting the words like a gift he's not sure is his.
He can be there for Jesse, if Jesse lets him.
And Jesse does.
Then he asks a question.
"So what do you want to do tonight?"
"Shalimar and Emma are going out and Adam's let us off the hook for a couple of hours at least."
Brennan looks up from his book at Jesse, and it strikes him that Jesse looks like he's blushing, but he brushes that thought away.
"How about dinner? That new sushi place you wanted to try?" he asks.
"Okay," he replies. "About an hour? I have to run a diagnostics on the computers. But then I'm all yours."
The blush intensifies, but before he can say anything Jesse mumbles something about scans and is gone.
They make it just in time for their reservation. And it's comfortable and easy until midway through dinner Jesse asks with an air of studied casualness,
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Sure, hasn't everybody?" Brennan says without a second thought.
"With?"
The word is soft and Brennan is sure he must have misheard, fervently hopes he has, but Jesse is looking at him expectantly and there really is no way he can say "you." He settles for swallowing to buy some time.
"Someone. A long time ago."
Thankfully Jesse takes the hint and drops it, but a few bites later, as he passes the sauce over, hits him with,
"Since then?"
The sauce dips over the edge of the bowl and Brennan curses softly as they try to soak it up with too thin napkins.
"No one really," Brennan mumbles.
"Oh."
Small and Brennan looks at Jesse, notes the downcast eyes, and the small furrow marring his brow that he insanely is forever wanting to kiss away and it hits him just like that. Jesse is disappointed.
And utterly destroying his sushi.
The ride back to Sanctuary is silent, and Brennan figures he can deal with that just as long as they can make it home in one piece. They do, briefly checking in on Adam before he makes an excuse and heads up to his room. He can feel Jesse's eyes on him the whole way.
Inside his room, he's safe, he hopes, but his mind has other ideas and Jesse, disappointed, flashes before him again. Maybe he misread it? In the bathroom, icy cold water snaps him back to reality.
Of course he misread it. Jesse, no, Jesse was probably disappointed for him.
"Brennan?"
His name wafts from his bedroom and there's the distinctive click of a door closing. He snags a towel, drying his face off, waiting for inspiration, a bolt from the blue or someone to tell him what to do. But it's too late because Jesse is there, blocking his escape. And his bathroom is really, really too small. Determination now, instead of disappointment, and he doesn't say anything because it's in the air between them, drawing tighter, drawing them together until Jesse tilts his head up and kisses him.
"Shit."
The word is whispered fervently against his lips before Jesse steps away from him and Brennan knows what it is to feel bereft. An ache, dull after all this time, now everywhere.
"Sorry, Bren," Jesse apologizes, and some part of Brennan that isn't completely numb registers this, but he doesn't move. Doesn't think he can.
"I thought..."
Jesse shakes the thought away and dredges up a smile for him.
"I guess I thought wrong."
Brennan is sure Jesse has to hear his heart beating, or maybe not because it might have stopped from the knowledge that Jesse is trying to seduce him, wants him and that he's afraid. It's what's kept him silent - because Jesse needed a friend. Now he wants him. That makes Brennan think of consequences and teams...and Jesse looking at him like he's everything that matters. The choice it seems is simple when he looks at it like that.
"Wait..."
Jesse licks his lips and tilts his face up to meet Brennan's again. It's soft and not as awkward as the first because everyones paying attention and Jesse may be a little bit shorter than him, but they fit too. Jesse drives that point home by drawing Brennan close. Jesse is all muscle, compact and all Brennan can do is feel him, lose himself in him. Jesse tugs mutely at his shirt and before Brennan can think maybe they should be slowing down, his shirt is off and so is Jesse's and he really had no idea how that happened. They stumble into the bedroom, and that is awkward and almost funny because Brennan doesn't want to let go so they can make it without falling over. But Jesse doesn't mind, because he directs them so Brennan goes back to kissing every bit of skin he can reach, the taste of saki and Jesse on his lips.
Reality is the feel of Jesse against him, skin against his and Jesse everywhere. Brennan pauses just briefly when he reaches Jesse's scars - neat holes in his shoulder and just below his heart.
"What?" Jesse whispers and Brennan kisses them, paying his homage to the past. Jesse's hands thread through his hair and there's a gentle pressure at the back of his neck, acknowledging his attempt.
Reminded Brennan forces himself to control because this is Jesse and despite the scars there are at least a dozen different reasons he should be gentle, none of which come to mind anyway.
"I'm not going to break," Jesse whispers against his mouth, and permission is granted and words bubble forth from Brennan and he has no idea what he's saying, but Jesse does, and he pulls him close, holds him together until he lets Brennan shatter, until he comes hard against Jesse and it hits him. This is home.
Created on ... April 29, 2003