Pairing: B/J

Rating: PG

Summary: Jesse finds some things out about Brennan.

~o0o~

Looking around, Jesse tried to remind himself why he'd tagged along with Brennan. It wasn't like he didn't have things to do, there was a new programme waiting to be installed on his computer, a hamper full of laundry to sort -- even watching that chick flick with Emma and Shalimar was looking good now. But when Brennan had announced he was going dancing Jesse had surprised himself by asking if he could come along, his mouth engaging before his brain caught up.

Brennan had looked surprised -- hell Jesse was surprised -- taking a moment to stare right at him, as if having some sort of internal conflict. Jesse had been on the point of feeling uncomfortable, ready to say it was okay, he'd forgotten a prior appointment, when Brennan seemed to make a decision, telling him to be ready in ten minutes. Looking at Brennan's outfit, Jesse had dressed in similar style, silky shirt, snug leather pants -- cruising clothes. A splash of after-shave and quick hair-brush later he was ready, with minutes to spare.

He'd found Brennan in the garage, leaning against one of Sanctuary's cars -- ankles and arms crossed -- watching the door. Seeing Jesse he'd smiled, that wide smile that made the recipient feel like smiling too. So Jesse had, grinning even though he had no reason to grin that wide. Except maybe because he'd seen Brennan, and that really wasn't reason enough to make him feel like the happiest man alive... was it?

Except maybe it was. Settling in the low-slung car, Jesse had wriggled a little, getting comfortable, hands together on his lap, aware of how close their bodies were. Only the gear stick had separated Brennan's thigh from his, so close that Jesse could feel the faint heat of Brennan's body. Fastening his seat belt, Jesse had jumped when Brennan's hand brushed his, the touch electric. He'd suspected that it had been electric at first, a practical joke. But Brennan hadn't even been paying attention, instead leaning forward to mess with the CD player, inserting one of his discs.

Then, with the top of the vette down, they'd gone screeching out from Sanctuary, Brennan grinning as the wind blew through their hair and they scorched along the deserted roads. The music had pumped out as they drove through the darkness, only slowing down as they approached the city. Then with another strange calculating look at Jesse, Brennan had pulled into what looked like a deserted shack, telling him to jump out as he whistled loud and shrill.

Figures melted from the shadows, children mostly, as Brennan handed over a wad of notes to a pinch-faced boy. With a last nod to the group Brennan had grabbed Jesse's arm, pulling him out of the shack, explaining that the car would be watched until they came back. That they would go on foot from now -- which they did -- to a succession of bars and clubs, each one seedier than the one before.

Brennan looked happy, talking to people he obviously knew, people that he, for the most part, steered Jesse away from. It hadn't taken Jesse long to become sick of sitting at empty tables, drinking beer and ignoring the looks thrown his way from the regulars. The night was becoming a wash out, Jesse wanted to go home, but reminded himself he'd asked himself along, and that was that. So now they were entering yet another dingy bar, and Brennan grabbed a table, telling Jesse he'd go and get the drinks, leaving Jesse to wonder for the tenth time tonight, just why he was here.

Sitting alone once more, Jesse looked for something, or someone, that would hold his interest. The bar was literally that, a bar in the middle of a huge room. The walls were bare, an indiscriminate colour due to age and smoke. A pool table stood in a corner, two huge men battling it out, while their girlfriends and a rowdy group of friends watched. The women with cleavage exposed and skirts little more than belts, the men dressed mostly in black leather, studs and bandannas. One girl blew Jesse a kiss when she saw him looking, the first hint of interest that he'd had all night. Smiling politely, Jesse looked away when her boyfriend glared, obviously protecting his property.

Further into the room, couples danced frantically, the DJ playing loud dance music. Glaring lights flashed to the rhythm, creating colours that lit up the swirls of smoke from countless cigarettes. The place was noisy, hot and smoky, perfect for someone buffeted by alcohol, having a good time, but that was the problem; Jesse wasn't. Deciding enough was enough, Jesse gave up on his beer, leaving the table to look for his missing team mate, he was going home, whether Brennan wanted to or not.

Weaving through the crowds of people, Jesse looked for Brennan, scanning the crowd as he moved. Hearing a familiar laugh, he headed towards the rear of the room, avoiding the dancers and people carrying bottles of beer. Brennan seemed to be talking to yet another friend, laughing as the blond guy gestured wildly with both hands.

Watching, Jesse was struck by how happy Brennan looked as he threw back his head, laughing uncontrollably at some comment. Standing unnoticed, Jesse felt free to stare, examining his friend in what was obviously a familiar setting. He'd always known that Brennan was good looking, add in the perfect body, and it was impossible not to notice. But it was a knowledge that Jesse had never really examined. He'd laughed with the rest as Brennan emptied his pockets containing slips of paper and business cards with phone numbers on. Had teased when he'd seen the elemental creep back into Sanctuary in the early hours, hair mused and his shirt buttons missing.

But standing here now, eyes fixed on his friend, Jesse could only think of one thing. Brennan was hot...and he had his tongue stuck down the blond guys throat...Scrubbing at his eyes with his balled up hands, Jesse looked again, but the sight remained the same. Brennan Mulwray, his teammate, his friend, his alpha male friend, was locked in a passionate lip lock with another man. A man who -- at this moment -- was attempting to push his hands down the front of Brennan's pants, while grinding his groin suggestively.

To say Jesse was surprised was an understatement, he felt like someone had told him the earth was flat, not round, or that Eckhart did needlepoint in his spare time. A little like his world had tipped on it's axis, not that it was a bad thing -- just surprising, and maybe if he was honest, it made him feel angry too. Brennan was his friend, yet had been lying to him, maybe to them all.

Seeing the couple come up for air, Jesse hurriedly moved back, before he was caught gawping.

"What the fuck do ya think you're doing?" Spinning round, Jesse groaned as he saw one of the guys from the pool table behind him, the contents of a tray of drinks spilt down his front and on the floor. "Are ya some kinda fuckin' imbecile?"

"I'm sorry, I'll buy you replacements."

Trying to placate, Jesse moved to take his wallet from his pocket, aware of people standing and staring, becoming silent as the soaked man continued to rant.

"Too right you will, and what about my clothes, they're ruined now and all because of some snot nosed little bastard who doesn't watch where he's going. I saw you earlier, eyeing up my woman, and now this. "Seemingly becoming angrier with each word, the man gestured at the mess, before flinging the tray at the floor. Moving until he stood chest to chest with Jesse, he stared down, spittle flying from his mouth as he continued to curse and shout.

Realising the situation was deteriating rapidly, Jesse considered his options, he could keep on apologising, just walk away, or what was looking more likely, end up in the middle of an ugly bar fight. Suddenly the decision was taken away from him when a huge hand grabbed his shirtfront, hauling him onto his tiptoes, while the guy pulled back his other hand ready for a powerful punch.

"I'm gonna teach you to watch where you're walking you fuckin' bastard."

"I really wouldn't do that."

"Yeah? Who's gonna stop me?"

"Me for one."

Jesse grinned hearing the familiar voice, he'd figured that Brennan would turn up soon and he hadn't disappointed. The elemental languidly walked round into the goon's line of sight, catching Jesse's eye as he moved. Arching an eyebrow and smiling slightly, familiar signals for, are you okay? Shall we get it on? Brennan smiled, feral like, when Jesse nodded slightly in return.

It seemed the man wasn't impressed as he laughed with contempt. "You're going to stop me? A pretty boy queer, you might be used to fighting in bed with your faggot boyfriends, but you've never taken a real man on."

Jesse tensed, sensing the moment of attack was close, as Brennan moved closer, seemingly unaffected by the man's continuing words.

"Once I take this piece of shit out it'll be my pleasure to teach you a lesson, goddamn homo's, you make me sick, thinking you can mix with the normal people. I've seen you, hitting on guys; bunch of fuckin' perverts the lot of you. If I had my way I'd lock you all up together then chop your fuckin' dicks off."

"I'd advise you to shut up now." Jesse was mad, anger flaring at the ugly hate filled words being flung at Brennan.

"Or what's gonna happen?"

"This."

With a quick look at Brennan, Jesse pushed up from his tiptoes, then savagely brought up one knee into the guy's groin. As his assailant doubled over in agony, Jesse massed his fist, bringing it back to deliver a brutal punch against the side of the man's head, sending him flying across the floor.

"Nice job, he must have gone at least twenty meters!"

"Yeah, well it would have been more if the pool table hadn't got in the way." Glancing at the pool table, Jesse couldn't help but grin at the way the man had landed, curled up in the foetal position. It probably had been an over kill, Jesse knew he could have handled the situation without using his powers. But the fact was he hadn't wanted to. No one talked to Brennan like that asshole had. If they did, they paid, simple as that. "Come on, we'd better get out of here, his friends don't look happy."

Which, Jesse knew, was an understatement if there ever was one. The crowd round the pool table was getting agitated; sending hostile looks across to the two men. The situation was going to get ugly real soon, and it didn't look like anyone in the room was going to intervene on their behalf. Despite it going against every instinct that he had, Jesse knew that the only thing to do was retreat -- now.

"Guess I can strike another bar from my list then...didn't like the decor anyway." Assessing the crowd, Brennan turned to leave. "Come on Jesse, I think we've outstayed our welcome."

"Wait! What about your friend, the one you were...uhm with at the back of the room."

"What friend? I was only with John and..." Jesse was certain he could see uncertainty develop as Brennan realised what he'd been doing. "You saw us then?"

"Yeah, I saw you, wasn't sure that I believed it, but I certainly saw you." Seeing the desolate expression on Brennan's face Jesse realised that he'd just put his foot into it, big time. Brennan had obviously misinterpreted his words as disapproval, but hearing the bruisers at the pool table start to run across the room, he knew he just didn't have time to put the words right. It would have to wait until later, when he could explain without the fear of imminent attack hanging over them.

"GET THE BASTARDS!"

The cry was chilling, loud and hate filled as the group of men charged across the room. Hopelessly outnumbered, Jesse knew retreat was still their only option, that was, if they could reach the door in time.

"Heads up."

Backing towards the exit, Jesse watched as Brennan sent a bolt across the room, hitting the first row of men and knocking them back into the others. Hoping that the group would get the message and let them go, Jesse had to sigh as the charge only sent them into a bigger rage. It seemed some people were beyond stupid. As Brennan blasted another charge, Jesse began to believe they might actually make it. The door was only ten meters away; surely they could make that, get out of this place, into the open.

Tonight however, it looked like their luck was lousy. Striking out at one of the men who had charged him from the side, Jesse could only watch as Brennan formed a ball of electricity in his hands, ready to send it flying towards the attacking group. What he hadn't seen was one of the women sneak up to his side, a huge bottle of champagne held above her head. With a screech she brought it down hard against Brennan's head, the bottle shattering into pieces. But that was the least of Brennan's worries. As soon as the alcohol hit the ball of electricity it seemed to ricochet back into Brennan's body, causing him to fall, stunned, to his knees. Sparks seemed to jump from every inch of Brennan's skin, as he jerked with the shocks.

Jesse swore he could feel his heart stop, remembering Shalimar and Emma's stories of how they'd had to perform CPR on Brennan the last time he'd been caught in water. He expected to see Brennan slump to the floor, unconscious, luckily this time it seemed the shocks were minor enough not to cause much damage, but the combination of them, plus the blow to the head was certainly a bad one. Something the crowd seemed to realise as they streamed forward, jumping both Brennan and Jesse.

Forced to defend himself, Jesse couldn't help when he saw Brennan buried under a mountain of bodies, all of who seemed to be kicking and punching. Turning so his back was to the wall, Jesse phased and solidified in turn, sending men flying across the room then, allowing others to punch through him, cracking their fists on the wall behind. Soon only a handful remained and Jesse could see across to where Brennan had been, and was surprised to see men scattered unconscious on the floor, while Brennan stood battling the last few in a hand-to-hand battle.

Satisfied that the elemental was okay, if a bit battered, Jesse resumed his own battles with renewed vigour, sending one man crashing through a table and the other head first into the wall. Satisfied, Jesse looked to see if Brennan needed help, grinning when the last fighter was sent flying across the room by a powerful bolt of electricity.

"That was nice, went further than mine."

"Think so?"

"Yeah, but we'd better go before these idiots wake up, or someone decided to phone for the police."

With a last look at the men scattered on the floor, and an angry glare at the others who had stood and watched as they were jumped, Jesse grabbed Brennan's arm, pulling him towards the door.

"Ow! Fuck, be careful Jesse!"

Surprised by the outburst, Jesse let go, looking questioningly at Brennan.

"I've hurt my wrist a bit, that's all, now come on."

Looking closely at Brennan's battered state, Jesse suspected that his wrist was more than a bit, but Brennan was right, they had to get out. However, before he could leave, a figure caught his eye.

"Wait, Brennan, your friend's over there...John wasn't it? It looks like he wants to talk to you."

"I told you Jess, he's not a friend, and even if he does want to talk, I don't."

Recognising the stiffening shoulders and closed off expression, Jesse knew that Brennan really wanted to leave, not that he blamed him, so giving John -- who stood looking plaintively at Brennan - a last look, he hurried from the room, and down the dark narrow stairs.

Reaching fresh air, Jesse nearly bumped into Brennan who stood hunched over against a wall. The other man was resting his forehead against the surface, cradling his right wrist against his chest, while taking quick, shallow breaths.

"Why didn't you tell me you're hurt so bad?"

Cataloguing the injuries that he could see, Jesse could barely keep the anger from his tone. Blood was running freely down Brennan's neck, most likely from where he was hit by the bottle. His shirt was torn, showing livid dark bruises that mottled his skin, while both eyes were starting to be ringed by more black bruises, a perfect match to his lips that oozed blood every time Brennan talked.

"What was the point? We had to get out of there, we still have to get out of here, there wasn't anything that you could do."

Despite seeing the sense in Brennan's argument, Jesse still felt annoyed. "Maybe not, but if I knew I could have watched to make sure you didn't hurt yourself more. I'm thinking yours ribs are bust, what would have happened if you'd fallen down those stairs? You could have punctured a lung."

"But I didn't, and I still had to get down the stairs, even if you did know. What would you have done, carried me down?"

"Maybe I would have."

"Okay, fine, I should have told you, then let you carry me down the stairs on your back, feel better now?"

"Yeah, actually I do."

"Great, then lets go."

Looking at Brennan, Jesse wasn't sure he was in any condition to go anywhere. His breathing was still laboured, while his skin was so white that the bruising stuck out in indecent contrast. Frankly, if Brennan could make it back even half way to where they'd left the vette he'd be surprised.

"I'm gonna call Adam, Bren, there's no way you can walk back to the vette."

"No, there's nowhere for the Helix to pick us up, and we need to get away from here before the heat turn up. Just help me get to that corner and I'll arrange for the car to be brought back."

"Arrange for it to be brought back? What, you've your own personal valet service now?"

"Yeah, didn't you know?"

"I've discovered there's a lot that I don't know about you tonight, Brennan."

" Look, Jesse, I'm sorry about that, I can explain..."

"Yeah, you can, but not now. I'm assuming that you know what you're talking about with the car, so lets get going, then you can tell me what you need to later, after you've been fixed up. You're going to need the air to breathe right now."

Agreeing with a nod, Brennan slowly stood up, groaning as his body protested at moving. Quickly stepping forward, Jesse positioned himself so that Brennan's undamaged arm hooked over his shoulder, taking most of the taller man's weight. Slowly they shuffled forward, speeding up slightly when they heard sirens in the distance. With each step, Jesse cringed at the sounds of pain that escaped Brennan's bone white lips, until he was seriously thinking about calling Adam anyway.

"In here."

Entering the indicated alley, Jesse helped Brennan slide to the ground, then knelt next to him, waiting to see what to do next.

"You remember that whistle I used? Can you copy it? I don't think I've enough breath to do it myself. Do that and someone will come, just tell them we need the car and they'll get it for us."

"You really do have your own valet service don't you."

Shaking his head in amazement, Jesse stood, trying to remember the whistle that Brennan had used earlier. Finally sure he remembered right, Jesse pursed his lips and whistled loud and long.

"Just once?"

"Yeah, someone will hear."

"You serious?"

"Totally, it saves me walking back when I go clubbing, though I have to admit that I usually get picked up from somewhere better than this."

"I hear that." Giving Brennan a small smile, Jesse settled closer, wishing that he had something to place round Brennan to keep him warm. The other man was shaking, whether through cold, pain or the combination of both Jesse didn't know. There was so much that Jesse wanted to know, if Brennan was gay, why he'd kept the secret. How he knew all these people that would collect the car, or his relationship with John. All were questions that Jesse needed answering, but not yet. For now he'd wait, impatiently maybe, but he would wait.

"Brennan?"

The words -- hissed from a dark part of the alley -- made Jesse jump, he hadn't heard anyone approach.

"Over here."

At Brennan's words, a woman walked out of the darkness. Dressed in multiple layers of clothes, she hurried to their sides, squatting down to look at them.

"Lord, Brennan what happened to you? Wait don't tell me, you got caught in that rumble at the Pirates Den? I just saw the heat in there, cleaning a load of scum outta the place. You should be more careful."

"They started on Jesse, what was I supposed to do?"

"Don't know why you're asking me, you've never listened to me before." With a mock glare, the woman began to remove her top coat " Jesse huh, I finally get to meet one of your new friends...I see what you mean about him, he is a cutie."

Laughing at Jesse's blush, the woman tucked the coat gently round Brennan's shoulders, then turned, with her hand outstretched.

"Pleased to meet you Jesse. I'm Lana, as our friend there doesn't seem up to making introductions. I'd love to chat but I think I'd better go and get your ride so you can get him fixed. Look me up next time you're here, I'll tell you some stories about this one." Bending over, Lana dropped a gentle kiss on Brennan's face. "Lord Bren, you're going to have some fantastic shiners there. Take care okay, come and see me, as soon as you're able. Bring the cutie too."

With a last smile, Lana ran from the alley, silent and graceful despite the over abundance of clothes.

Mind filled with yet more questions, Jesse looked at Brennan in amazement. It seemed the more he was finding out about his friend the more he didn't know. It seemed a long talk was well overdue. But not yet, not when Brennan could barely breathe, never mind talk at length. Listening to the laboured breathing, Jesse made a decision.

"Brennan, I'm gonna contact Adam. I agree that we'll get home quicker driving, but he needs to be ready when we get back. You're not looking too hot there."

"I must look better than I feel then."

Taking the words as agreement, Jesse brought his ring to his mouth.

"Adam...Adam...ADAM!" Practically shouting the last time, Jesse was relieved when Adam's sleep slurred voice come over the link.

"Jesse? Do you know what time it is? It's the middle of the night. Is there something wrong?"

"You could say that, we got in a bit of a fight, Brennan's hurt pretty bad. I'm gonna drive him back but you'd better get the med room ready."

"What's his condition?"

"He's sorta semi-conscious right now, has a nasty head wound and I'm sure his ribs are bust. Looks like his right arm is broken too, and from what I've seen some wicked looking bruises."

"Okay, I'm getting up now. Are you sure it wouldn't be better to pick you up in the Helix?"

"No, the vette's getting driven back now, we can be back at Sanctuary in less than thirty minutes."

"Driven back? Did someone take the car?"

"Long story Adam."

"Which you'll tell me I hope. Okay, I'll be waiting, and remember, be careful getting him in the car if his ribs are damaged, no seatbelt."

"Right."

Ending the connection, Jesse jumped to his feet, pacing restlessly as he waited for their car to arrive. It seemed like hours had passed before he heard the purr of an engine, though in reality it was less than ten minutes. Expecting Lana, Jesse was surprised when a man eased himself out, even taller than Brennan he avoided eye contact, keeping his eyes downcast.

"Lana sent me, said you'd need help with Brennan."

"Yeah, I will...I do...thanks."

Nodding in reply, the man bent over Brennan, gently touching his hand.

"Hey, Brennan, lets get you on your feet, get you back to your fancy home. Come on kid, let me and Jesse do the work"

Gesturing for Jesse to take hold of Brennan's uninjured arm, the man held him round the waist and easily lifted the elemental to his feet, then across to the car. Stopping briefly, he apparently considered how to get Brennan into the passenger seat, before simply lifting him up, placing him securely in the seat.

After ensuring Brennan was reasonably comfortable, the man turned, looking Jesse in the eye at last.

"Look after him okay, and tell him if things don't work out he's always got a place with us. Though I've a feeling he's picked a good 'un this time."

With the enigmatic words the man left, disappearing into the shadows, leaving Jesse wondering if the people he'd met were some kind of stealth mutants. Giving himself a mental jerk back, Jesse moved round the car, sliding into the drivers seat.

"You hangin' in there Bren? We'll be back soon, get you fixed up." His words were unheard, Brennan's eyes were closed as he either slept or fell into full unconsciousness, either way, Jesse knew he had to get back to Sanctuary as soon as possible. Driving fast but careful, he started the journey home, so very different to the one coming.

*~*~*~*~

"How long has he been unconscious?"

"About twenty minutes now, I couldn't wake him up...maybe I should haven't have drove him home, it was just..."

"Jesse, it's okay, you did everything right."

Jesse wanted nothing more than to believe that as he stood watching Adam and Emma settle Brennan on an examination table. Seeing them gently remove the coat wrapped round him, Jesse moved forward to take it from Emma's hand.

"Here, I'll take that. I've a feeling it's important to someone."

Giving Jesse an inquisitive look, Emma handed it over, leaving Jesse clutching at the coat, feeling like a spare part. Sucking in a breath, he was horrified as the full extent of the bruising was revealed on Brennan's chest. He'd made Brennan walk in that condition, what the hell had he been thinking? Feeling an arm snake round his waist, Jesse let himself be steered away by Shalimar, until they stood side by side at the back of the room.

"He's going to be fine, Jess."

"I know, it's just..."

"It's been a hard night, right?"

"You could say that."

A hard night, that was an understatement. Jesse hadn't felt so confused for a long time. Everything had moved so fast, discovering things about Brennan that he'd never suspected. He was so tired, wanted to sleep, but he also needed to be sure that Brennan would be okay. Somehow Shalimar seemed to understand that, pulling two chairs over and sitting down next to Jesse, silently watching as Adam and Emma worked.

~*~*~*~*~

"We're done."

Jerking his head up, Jesse rubbed at his bleary eyes, as Adam walked over to them.

"You were right Jesse, he did have cracked ribs, a fractured wrist, multiple bruises and a pretty nasty gash on his head. He's going to be fine, just sore for a while, and a splint on his arm for a week, something I'm not looking forward to telling him. All in all, he was lucky you were with him. Now I suggest that you get some sleep, I'm going to stay with Brennan tonight, then in the morning you can tell me what caused this bar fight."

Feeling relived, Jesse stood, needing to see Brennan before going to get some much needed sleep. Thankful for the comforting presence of Emma, he approached the bed, happy to see that the other man looked slightly better. Covered in a thin sheet, Brennan slept the deep sleep of the drugged, skin still looking waxen, highlighting the deep bruising. A bright blue splint was tightly strapped round his wrist and arm, the colour making Jesse smile.

"Blue?"

"Not my choice, Emma seemed to think it would fit with the clothes Brennan wears."

"I guess so..." Sharing a sceptical look with Adam, Jesse stepped forward, lightly touching Brennan's shoulder. "Hey, I'm gonna get some sleep, but I'll be back in the morning." Seeing the others watching, Jesse blushed, "I know he can't hear, I though, I just..."

"We understand Jesse, come on, you look done in."

Feeling Shalimar's hand on his waist again, Jesse allowed himself to be steered from the room, the urgent need for sleep crashing down on him. His bed called, and he wasn't going to resist.

~*~*~*~*~

"Jesse...hey Jess, wake up."

Prising open gummy eyes, Jesse stared in confusion at the person who stood at the foot of his bed.

"Brennan? What the hell are you doing here? You should be in the med area."

"I'm fine, well I am now, apart from a few bruises and this." Waving his splinted arm in the air, Brennan glared down at Jesse. "You could have let them put a normal colour on."

"Why? That one looks fine to me, and does Adam know you've left"

"Sure he knows, sprung me himself five minutes ago, and this thing only looks fine if you're five years old." Giving Jesse a disgusted look, Brennan paused, seemingly thinking of what to say next "Look, Jesse, I just wanted to say thanks, you know for getting me home last night, and that I hope things aren't going to change between us. The last thing that I want is you to be uncomfortable."

"What makes you think I'd be uncomfortable round you?" Sitting up in bed, Jesse stared in confusion at Brennan. "Do you really think that just because I saw you kissing a guy I'd feel hinky round you? 'Cos if you do, I may have to get offended here."

"Well you seemed a bit off about it last night."

"No. What I was off about was you'd never told me that you swing that way. Finding out by seeing you inhaling another guy, how did you expect me to react? Would it have been so hard just to tell me, instead of showing me? Why the big secret"

"There's never been a secret. My sexuality was never an issue. There wasn't any reason to bring it up, and the longer I didn't say anything, the harder it became to tell you. I never deliberately hid anything."

"You like women."

"Yeah, I do, but I also like men. It only a big deal if you make it one Jesse. I am who I am, I've grown into my own skin now, and if people don't like it, that's their look out. I don't label myself, don't think I need to, but if it helps you understand I'll be bi."

"You still should have told me, but I guess I understand why you didn't. It's not like I haven't kept secrets myself. But you don't make me uncomfortable."

"That's good, as long as we're straight."

"Well I might be, you on the other hand..."

"Funny..." cuffing Jesse gently on the side of the head, Brennan smiled brightly. "I'm going to catch some sleep."

"Oh sure, go to bed now you've woken me up." Seeing Brennan hesitate, Jesse made shooing movements "Go on, you look tired, we'll talk when you wake up. You still need to tell me about Lana yet"

Stopping in the doorway, Brennan looked indecisive. "Okay, no more secrets right, I can do that."

With a small wave, Brennan left, leaving Jesse staring after him. Still snuggled in his blankets, he debated getting up, starting the day. A debate that lasted no more than twenty seconds as he slid back under the bedclothes, sleep claiming him once more within seconds.

~*~*~*~*~

"Jesse...Jesse, wake up."

Prising gummy eyes open yet again, Jesse looked up, expecting to see Brennan. Confused at first when he saw he was alone, he soon realised that the voice was coming from his com ring. Bringing his hand up, he rubbed at his eyes, while answering the call.

"Brennan, your rooms next door, you could've just walked here to see me...there's nothing wrong is there?"

Beginning to climb out of bed, Jesse was having visions of Brennan lying on the floor, too weak to move, after falling and breaking his ribs. Even if Adam had released him, Brennan would push himself too far, he always did. Worried, Jesse decided to take the direct route, phasing through his bedroom wall. Only to be confronted with the sight of Brennan sitting on his bed, naked but for a towel wrapped round his waist.

"No, I'm fine I just...forget where the door is did you?"

Feeling slightly ridiculous, Jesse had to laugh at Brennan's shocked expression when he appeared beside him.

"I thought you'd hurt yourself again, waking me up."

"Sorry." Giving Brennan a look, Jesse waited. "Okay, I'm not sorry, but I do need some help."

"Why doesn't that surprise me? Okay, what is it, a coffee, something to eat."

Thinking about what was in the fridge, Jesse was bemused to see red flush Brennan's cheeks.

"No, nothing like that...normally I wouldn't ask, but I've got this and...if you feel funny about it just say...I need help with my clothes."

"You want me to help with your clothes?"

""Yeah, I'm not gonna ask Emma or Shalimar, I know they'd help but, I don't want them to you know, some things aren't meant to be shared between team mates. I could ask Adam, but the thought of him fastening my buttons just weirds me out. That leaves you."

"I don't weird you out?"

"No, it's not like you haven't seen me naked plenty of times, and I'm sure you can manage a few buttons. So will you help or do I have to wear sweats today?"

"No, I'll help. Have you got your stuff ready?"

"Grab anything from my closet, just make sure the pants don't have a button fly."

"You trust my judgement?" Giving Brennan a shocked look Jesse pulled open the closet doors, mentally running through the outfits that he'd seen Brennan wear.

"Sure, knock yourself out."

Sliding shirts along the rail, Jesse quickly selected a pair of combat pants, and a shirt that he knew clung in all the right places. Whoa, where did that come from? Flushing slightly, Jesse grabbed both items, both relieved and disappointed to find that Brennan had already pulled his shorts on when he turned round.

"These do?"

"Sure."

Passing them over, Jesse stood back, letting Brennan dress himself until he was needed. Then, interpreting the slightly embarrassed look, he began to casually fasten all the buttons that Brennan couldn't. Up close to the other man, Jesse couldn't help notice how soft his skin was, how good he smelt, the defined stomach muscles. All were things that Jesse just hadn't noticed before, had never even thought about noticing. Brennan had always just been a friend, someone to talk to, laugh and spar with. They fought side by side, protecting each other's backs, introduced each other to girls, and got drunk together when those girls walked away. But now -- that was all changed. Brennan liked men, and Jesse thought he was beginning to like Brennan, but Brennan was a man, and Jesse didn't like them that way -- did he? It was just too confusing, too much changing at once. So, fastening the last button, he did the only thing he could.

"Is there's nothing else you need, I'm taking off, I haven't changed since last night and figure I need a shower."

"No, nothing else, thanks Jesse."

"No problem."

Giving Brennan a last smile, Jesse went to his own room -- using the door this time -- reflecting on the lie that he'd just told. There was a problem, a big one. Because since seeing Brennan last night, Jesse had started having feelings that had nothing to do with friendship, and everything to do with desire, and that was just wrong. Wrong because he was straight, wrong because Brennan was his friend, wrong because people just couldn't change sexuality overnight. Now all Jesse had to do was convince his libido of that.

~*~*~*~

Showered and changed, Jesse felt restless, needing to move -- do something -- anything that would drive the edgy feeling away. His mind seemed to flow in a million directions, thoughts like quicksilver that he couldn't catch hold of long enough to analyse. Over and over he saw images flash past his eyes, Brennan and John, plastered together in that dingy bar, Brennan's eyes dark with pleasure as they clung together. Brennan in the alley, breathless, covered in Lana's tatty coat. Later, watching as Adam healed cracked ribs and torn skin, and then, the image that was driving Jesse insane -- Brennan sitting on his bed, a towel slung loosely round his waist, hair damp from the shower, beads of water sliding down his muscled back. That particular scene seemed to replay itself over and over in Jesse's head, torturing him with its vividness.

All he wanted to do was go next-door, not even to talk -- just look. It was almost a physical pull, but a pull that he needed to deny. Brennan was his friend, not some piece of eye candy to be lusted after. He was still the same person that he'd been the day before, still looked the same, acted the same. The only thing that had changed was Jesse's perception.

With one last frustrated look at the dividing wall, Jesse stormed from his bedroom. He needed to talk to someone, and he knew just the person.

~*~*~*~

"Do you want a hand?"

Looking up from the list she was making, Shalimar indicated the seat next to her. "To make Sanctuary's grocery list? Sure, if you're that bored."

Settling down, Jesse couldn't think what to say. He knew he needed to talk to someone, someone that he trusted to give direct advice. Shalimar certainly fit that bill, but how the hell was he supposed to say that he was developing feelings about another man. A man on their team at that.

"Jesse...Jesse! I don't know what's on your mind but you're not actually helping here. If you can't talk, go see how much cereal we have."

"Sorry." Smiling a little at Shalimar's perceptiveness, Jesse began counting boxes of cereal. "You're right, I do need to talk, it's just, difficult... There's only half a box of Froot Loops left, we'll need more of those, and some more bran."

"What about coffee?" Scribbling down items, Shalimar looked up at Jesse. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know." And Jesse did know, Shalimar had been one of his strongest friends for years. They'd joined Mutant X almost together, developing a bond that remained solid. She'd been there for bad times and good, never judging, letting him go his own way. Jesse knew she would help him like that now, but actually getting the words out was difficult. "There's nearly a full can left."

"Better get more then... Look will it help if I say what I think the problem is?"

"I can't see how you could know, but if you want to give it a shot, go ahead."

Putting down her pen, Shalimar looked at Jesse, waiting until he sat next to her before going on. "Since you were fine yesterday I'm assuming that this has something to do with last night. It could be because Brennan got hurt, but he's been hurt before and you've been okay after, so I'd say that you discovered that he goes for men and women, and are a little freaked about it."

Jesse felt that he'd been punched in the gut. Shalimar knew, and if she knew, how many of the others did? Was he the only one that had been left in the dark?

"You knew? How...when did he tell you? Do Adam and Emma know too?"

"No, it's nothing like that Jesse, you're taking this all wrong. Brennan never told me, I discovered it myself and asked him. I was up late one night and saw him come home; it was pretty easy to sense that he'd been with a guy. Latex, lube and come are pretty strong scent clues when you have senses like mine, so I asked."

"You just asked him?"

"Sure, why not? He wasn't mad, told me that he didn't date based on gender. I thought that was pretty cool, I never told you because it wasn't my place to tell anyone. Not that I think he wants it a secret, I just get the feeling that it's not that big a deal for him."

"That's what he said."

"See, there's no conspiracy against you Jess. As for Adam and Emma, I've no idea, like I said, I haven't discussed it with anyone. But you're not bent out of shape about that are you? I know you too well to think that you'd be thrown for a loop by his sexuality. I'm guessing that this is to do with you, am I right?"

Groaning, Jesse hesitated; trying to think what to say, it figured that Shalimar would cut to the chase, see right through him. "Am I that transparent?"

"Only to people that know you as well as I do. I know that you love Brennan. I also know that before last night you'd probably never allowed yourself to think of him in a sexual way. But now that you know that he likes men you think you have a chance with him. Any perceived barriers stopping you getting closer to him are gone, and it's confusing you."

"You turning into Emma or something?"

"Just know you real well honey. I've also got eyes, and Brennan's hot, why wouldn't you want him?"

Laughing at the knowing look on Shalimar's face, Jesse felt more relaxed than he had all day. Relieved that the feelings that he had for Brennan hadn't been seen as disgusting or wrong.

"You've got no idea how hot he is Shal. But don't you see. I'm straight; people don't just change sexuality overnight. That's ridiculous."

"I know that Jesse, but who says that you're totally straight..."

"Wait, I think I'd remember if I'd been with a guy Shalimar, I'm not that clueless."

Sighing deeply, Shalimar seemed to be warring between laughter and frustration. "No you're not clueless, but you are pretty dumb sometimes. It's not all about sex; you and Brennan clicked from the start. Even when he first came to Sanctuary and you gave him his ring the chemistry was there. I've never seen anyone say so much without opening their mouths. I thought it was a sure bet that you two would get together. Though I didn't think it would take this long. Think about it Jesse, who went alone to get the pushka when Brennan was dying? You'd only known him for a few weeks but still put your own life at risk for him. You go out together, on missions, play games, watch TV, you even introduce each other to women. You're friends, totally comfortable with one another, what better basis to build a relationship on?"

Looking at it like that, Jesse could believe that his feelings were okay, that maybe he wasn't abnormal, if it wasn't for one last sticking point.

"Okay, I get your point, but what about...you know...sex."

Feeling like a blushing schoolboy, Jesse nervously picked at his nails. He was no virgin -- hadn't been for years -- but talking to Shalimar was like a balm to his jumbled emotions. He wanted to cover all the bases, and if that made him look like a fool, so be it.

"What about it? You know the technicalities, and if you don't, you'll have fun finding out."

"But it's Brennan."

"So? You've seen him naked plenty -- we all have. You touch him all the time, look at last week, you were lying with your head on his lap watching the movie, and you give each other full body massages. Sex is just the next step up really, and if he's as good at that as he is at kissing, you're a very lucky man."

"You've kissed him?"

"Oh yeah! We were heading towards a relationship a while ago, but it wouldn't have worked. Brennan's too alpha male, I'm too alpha female. It would have been great at first, but ultimately we're too alike. Now you on the other hand are perfect, laid back but you won't take any of his shit...is any of this actually helping?"

Jumping up from the chair, Jesse grabbed Shalimar from behind, hugging her tight. Dropping a kiss on the top of her head before pulling back.

"Totally, I think I know what I'm gonna do now."

"That's great Jess, now go and get your man...and remember, I want details later"

"You've got it, have fun with the shopping."

Waving, Jesse headed towards Brennan's room. They needed to talk, and right now seemed the perfect time.

~*~*~*~*~

"Brennan?"

Pushing open the door, Jesse knew the room was empty. No sounds were coming from the bathroom, and everything was tidy, bed made, current book lying on the bedside table, ready to be picked up and read. Knowing that Brennan wasn't in the kitchen, that probably meant he'd be with Adam, getting checked over. A conclusion proven correct, when Jesse entered the med lab, to see Brennan sitting on the examination table, long legs swinging as Adam entered information at the computer.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I'm great, just waiting to get this stupid thing off." Lifting his arm in the air, Brennan indicated the splint over his wrist.

"Thought you needed to wear it for a week?"

"He does."

Laughing at the look of disgust that Brennan sent his way, Jesse moved to the computer, looking at the displays.

"But he's okay."

"He's fine, just needs to have that wrist protected for a while. You can see that the cracked ribs are as good as new, and the bruising is starting to go already. He was lucky, you were both lucky. Brennan's told me what went down, the situation could have ended much worse than it did."

"So is it okay if we go out?"

"No reasons why not, just keep out of the way of men carrying trays."

"Ha, very funny, coming Bren?"

"So you've remembered that I'm here have you." Jumping down from the table, Brennan started to leave the room. "Come on then."

"I'm way ahead of you."

Walking side by side, Brennan allowed himself to be steered towards Sanctuary's garage.

"So, you've sprung me, where to now?"

"Out. I figure that we need to talk...no, I need to talk, somewhere in private, away from here. I figured we could pick some food up, go to the park, just kick back, and relax. Then you can tell me all about last night.

"Pushy aren't you?"

"You don't know the half of it."

Heading to the Porsche that he favoured, Jesse waited until Brennan was strapped in -- the scene so similar to the night before -- before they sped from the garage. But this time Jesse was the one in control, and he needed answers. Answers to questions that he hadn't even realised needed asking twenty-four hours ago. And if those answers took his life in a new direction, who was he to argue; maybe it was time to obey what his body was telling him. It might be sudden, but it felt right, and that's all that mattered.

~*~*~*~

Juggling hot dogs and bottles of water, Jesse couldn't help smiling as he saw Brennan sitting on the table part of a picnic bench. Head thrown back, he was apparently soaking up the sun, oblivious to the admiring looks he was getting from passers by. Sunglasses hid the worst of his facial bruising, and if it weren't for the splint, Jesse wouldn't have seen any evidence of the fight last night. But he could see the splint, and he could also remember every detail of their disastrous night out -- a night that had created so many questions. But, walking across the grass, Jesse also revelled in the desire that he felt as he watched Brennan basking in the sunlight.

The freedom to watch unashamedly was heady, so indulging himself, Jesse slowly looked at every inch of Brennan's body -- head to toe. To Jesse it was a visual feast, one that he would have enjoyed for longer if it weren't for the twin sensations of hotdogs burning one hand and cold water bottles freezing the other.

Reaching the table, Jesse held a hotdog out to Brennan, dropping the water.

"Here you go, ketchup and mustard, no onions."

"Thanks, Jess."

Accepting the food, Brennan ate slowly and silently, so slowly that Jesse began to suspect a delaying tactic. Then, when Brennan started sucking at each finger in turn, licking small smears of ketchup off, Jesse knew it was a delaying tactic.

"You can't do that forever you know."

Not even turning round, Brennan continued to stare into the distance, answering in a resigned tone. "I know" Then, seemingly facing up to the task, jumped down, sitting on the bench opposite Jesse. "So, what do you want to know?"

What did he want to know? There was so much that Jesse didn't know where to begin.

"Lets start simple, Lana and the rest, who are they?"

Hesitating, Brennan seemed to be weighing things in his mind, but apparently decided that he could cope with the no more secrets pledge.

"I guess you could say they're sorta my family. I haven't told you that much about my childhood, but I was fostered when I was ten. Passed from family to family for a while, you know how it is. Eventually got sick of being pushed around and left, took a bag of clothes and the contents of my foster moms purse, just jumped onto the first bus that I could see. I thought I was tough, but in reality I knew nothing, ended up sleeping on a park bench for a while."

"Didn't anyone report you missing?"

"Are you kidding? They were pleased to see the back of me, no I was on my own, had been for a while. So, I'm in the park one day when I see this car, it looked so cool, all sleek lines, engine to die for. I stood there holding my bag for almost an hour, just looking. Anyway, in a moment of madness I forced the locks, just to sit down at first, but once I was in I couldn't resist jump-starting the engine. That first drive was amazing, I felt so grown up in that car, no fear for once. I put it back in place later, thought no one had seen, but I was wrong."

"Not the authorities?"

"No, I'd been seen by this woman, she was a runner for a gang that lived together on the streets, sorta an unofficial family. They saw everything, knew everything, had their fingers in most of the crime going down. She saw me and freaked, saw my mutant abilities as an asset not a curse. Long story short, I was soon a member of the family, had my own bedroll in an abandoned factory, food to eat, and people teaching me the tricks of the trade. I owe them everything Jesse, I would have been another statistic if it wasn't for them."

"That woman was Lana?"

"Yeah."

"She still involved in the crime stuff."

"What do you think?"

It was a hypothetical question and Jesse knew it.

"I think that they're great people, despite what they do, and I'd still like to meet her properly. I'm thinking that you still see them often."

"As often as I can. I don't want to bring any heat down on them. I'll take you to see her soon, promise. Now what else did you want to know?"

Considering, Jesse knew he had to face the thing that had caused him the most hurt and confusion.

"Lets start with the fact you didn't tell me that you're bi."

"I've told you, I didn't tell you because it's not that important."

"You think the fact that you go for men isn't important to me?"

"Why? Why should it be important? It's not like I was going to jump your bones or anything, my private life is just that. Private. I'm sorry if you think I was holding out on you, but I just don't see why it's so big a deal. I'm still the same person whether I sleep with men or women."

"I can see that, but why the secrecy. No one would be bothered about you dating men."

"Yeah?" Pulling off his sunglasses, Brennan stared directly at Jesse." That's not what I'm seeing. If no one's bothered why are we here having this conversation? Sure, I kept something from you, but we've all done that. I didn't hear you telling me much about your dad. We've all had secrets Jesse, but you're making this a bigger one for some reason. There must be something else here, come on spill it."

If only it was so easy. Jesse had thought it had been hard telling Shalimar that he liked Brennan, but this -- this was torture. Despite the beauty of the day, Jesse experienced none of it, instead every one of his senses were fixated on Brennan. The way his brow crinkled in the middle as he looked at Jesse in confusion, the faint smell of his aftershave, it all combined to make Jesse feel insane. How could he possibly tell him why it was a big deal? That it was jealousy pushing him forward, jealousy that Brennan had looked at other men, while overlooking him.

"It's not a big deal, I'm just curious, that's all."

"Bullshit!" Reaching across the table, Brennan put his hand across Jesse's. "There's more to it than that."

The touch was too much, breaking through the thin control Jesse had. "You think I'm cute."

"What? I don't understand..."

"At the alley, Lana said that I was a cutie, insinuating that you'd told her that I was cute. Is that true, am I cute?"

"Jesus, Jesse. I said that I wouldn't jump your bones. I don't think that every guy's cute."

"That's not what I asked damn it." Irritated, Jesse pulled his hand free, and indicated himself. "Am I cute? Easy question Brennan."

Brennan didn't speak; and Jesse felt his heart drop. He'd blown it, pushed the issue too much.

"Yeah...you are cute." Brennan sounded reluctant, each word weighed before he spoke. "But that's as far as it goes Jesse. I know you're straight and I'd never try anything on with you."

"You like me?"

"Of course I like you, but as a friend, that's all I want."

"What if it's not what I want?"

Emotions flew across Brennan's face as he listened to Jesse. Hope, happiness, dismay, resignation.

"Well I'd be sorry but if you can't be my friend because of this, I'll try to understand."

Almost quivering with frustration, Jesse had to stand up before he screamed. How could Brennan think that? Take his words so wrong? Talk obviously wasn't working, that left only one thing, a gamble that could either bring them together or further apart. But at this point it was a gamble that Jesse had to take.

Kneeling on the bench, he leaned across the table, then -- ignoring Brennan's wide-eyed stare of surprise -- kissed him softly on the lips. After attempting to put all he was feeling into that one kiss, Jesse pulled back, waiting for a reaction. It seemed a long time before Brennan moved, still staring at Jesse in shock.

"Do you know what you're doing to me Jesse? Why now? Is this some kind of fucked up revenge thing, because I didn't tell you something. You don't date guys."

"I thought you didn't either until last night. Things change Brennan, I've changed. Last night I wanted to rip John away from you. Take his place. Must admit the feelings surprised me, but you know, I've thought them over since then and decided that I'm going to trust myself for once. I like you Brennan Mulwray; I like the way you look and the things you do -- well for the most part. I want us to try and be together, a couple, see if this can grow into something more."

The wait for Brennan's answer seemed to take hours. Jesse had put himself on the line, now he had to wait to see if the risk had been worth it. Nervously twisting his com ring, he tried to decipher what Brennan was thinking, but came up blank, all he could do was wait, and it was hell.

"You know that I like you a lot Jesse, I would have made a move months ago if I thought I'd had a chance -- I've never been attracted to someone as strongly as I was to you. I'd love to give this a go, but on one condition, we take it slow. Our friendships too important to lose over going too fast, we'll just start small and take it from there, okay?

"As long as I can kiss you again."

"I think that can be arranged."

True to his word, Brennan leaned towards Jesse, capturing his mouth with his own. Feeling Brennan's hand rest on his side, Jesse leaned closer, giving into the kiss exploring Brennan's teeth and mouth with his tongue. The table dug cruelly into Jesse's legs, and his knees ached from resting on slatted wood, but none of that mattered. Not when his body was singing with pleasure, dizzy with delight at taking what he needed.

Reluctantly, Jesse pulled back, common sense invading his whirling mind.

"Brennan, we're in a public park, we'd better stop." Sympathising with the moan of disappointment, Jesse couldn't help smile, seeing how Brennan looked. Lips damp and swollen, cheeks flushed red, and two eyes ringed like a racoon. He was just -- adorable. "Come on, we'll finish this later, after you've introduced me to your friends.

"You sure? She'll just say about time."

"I'm sure. They're part of you, and I want to know everything about you, good and bad. But there's no rush, we've all the time in the world...for everything."

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Created on ... April 29, 2003