Pairing: Pre- Brennan/Jesse
Rating: R, just to be on the safe side
Status: Completed
CRIT: Eh? What?
Archive: Sure!
Feedback: Yes please, I'm a feedback slut. lol
Series/Sequel: A prequel of sorts to a story ("Absolutely") in "MUTANT seX", the FIRST ever Mutant X zine! Both stories can stand alone tho.
Disclaimers: Funny stuff (I hope!)
Notes: None, really
Summary: Mutant X parties after a successful Mutant X rescue mission
Warnings: Do NOT drink or eat while reading this! I have had WAYYYYY too many people report on spraying their computers laughing while reading my stuff. I am NOT responsible for any food or drink damage to ANYTHING while reading any of my stories! ;)
******
"This is SO MEAN!" Emma giggled as she leaned back against the bar, hiding her smile behind her daiquiri, looking over at Shalimar who grinned ferally next to her.
"Yes, but that's what makes it so fun!" she crowed, throwing back another shot of whiskey as she watched the scene unfold before her. "Shut up! You're going to ruin everything!" she scolded Jesse, who was choking back his own laughter.
"Sorry," he mumbled, hiding his own laughter behind his beer as his eyes focused on Brennan on the dance floor, his smile faltering for a moment as he watched his teammate writhing to the sensual beat with the scantily clad blond wrapped around him. "Are you sure about this?" he asked Emma. "I mean, c'mon, look at her!"
"I'm sure," Emma grinned as she watched the sexy vamp throw her arms around Brennan's neck, sucking him into a deep kiss. "That is a transvestite, swear to God."
"Man, I never would have guessed," Jesse admitted as he watched the dancing pair through the flashing lights. "She-I mean he, looks damn good in a mini-skirt!"
"How far are we going to let him go with this?" Shalimar laughed, grabbing another shot of whiskey as soon the bartender set it down on the table. "If he finds out we know...."
"Oh, come on, Mr. "Master Brennan can nail anyone in the place"? He needs to get brought down to earth," Jesse grinned. "We'll stop him before he takes off, don't worry."
Emma exploded into fits of laughter, almost doubling over as she clutched the table in an effort to stay seated. "Oh my God, if he only knew what she, I mean he, was thinking!"
"Such as?" Shalimar goaded, poking Emma in the ribs. "C'mon, give!"
"Well, let's just say it calls for leather handcuffs and a couple cans of whipped cream before the skirt gets dropped."
Shalimar's shriek of laughter almost drowned out the throb of the music before another drink was shoved into her hands to stem the decibels....
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
"Having a good time?" Shalimar asked slyly, grinning up at Brennan as he came back over to the table, grabbing his drink.
"Great!" he enthused, downing half of the cold liquid, wiping the back of his hand across his sweaty brow. "She is really something, let me tell you."
"She sure is," Emma agreed, trying desperately to stifle her giggles into her drink, failing miserably.
"What's so funny?" Brennan asked cheerfully, finishing off his drink, signaling to the waitress for another.
"Oh, nothing, I'm just in a good mood," she smiled, shooting a small glare at Shalimar as she kicked her under the table.
"Me too," Brennan smiled, grabbing Jesse's beer out of his hands, downing half of it before he could protest. "Man, I am thirsty! Ashley is a wild one, she's wearing me out."
"Gonna wear you out even more later, I take it?" Shalimar teased. "Gonna get lucky tonight, Bren?"
"I think it's definitely on the agenda," he nodded enthusiastically.
"Go for it, Bren," Jesse agreed, grabbing his beer back. "Hell, give her one for all of us."
"Hey, you go get your own," Brennan grinned as Ashley headed back over. "Ah, back from the ladies room, prettier than ever," he smiled as she led him back onto the dance floor.
"Oh yeah, she's a looker," Jesse smiled, leaning back in his chair. "REALLY something...."
"C'mon, we have GOT to tell him!" Emma laughed, almost snorting out a mouthful of strawberry pulp and rum as Ashley dove in for another open-mouthed kiss, which Brennan returned enthusiastically. "He is gonna be SO pissed when he finds out!"
"Oh, I think Brennan is a little more open-minded then that," Shalimar smiled.
"I was thinking more along the lines that the bar closes in half an hour, and he's spent the whole evening barking up the wrong tree. He's gonna be pissed when he finds out he's not getting laid tonight."
"Poor baby," Shalimar cooed. "I guess Brennan JR's going home with no one to play with."
"I don't think that's what he calls it," Jesse cut in with a smile.
"Oh really? And what does he call his pocket love machine, may I ask?" Shalimar asked, slapping Jesse on the arm.
"I dunno. I'd assume with his powers, he'd call it Sparky or something- DAMN IT, Emma!" he laughed as he was sprayed with Daiquiri as she almost fell to the floor, wheezing with laughter.
"And what do YOU call Jesse JR?" Shalimar asked, handing Emma a handful of napkins to wipe herself off.
"That's for me to know, and you not to find out," Jesse winked, settling back and downing Brennan's drink, which had just arrived.
"Tease," Shalimar complained, tossing a napkin at him.
"Why is that guys name their, you know, parts?" Emma queried. "I mean, it's not like I have names for my boobs or anything."
"Really? You don't call 'em Huey and Dewey, Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee, or Beavis and Butthead or something like that?"
"No!" she shrieked.
"Not even 'The Twins'?"
"No!!!!"
"I had a boyfriend name mine once," Shalimar grinned, waving for another round of drinks.
"Really? And what would that be?" Jesse asked, laughing.
"Wouldn't you like to know...." she sassed, sticking her tongue out at him.
"Lemee guess...Fluffy and Bunny?"
"No."
"Tweety and Sylvester?"
"No."
"Flappy and Pancake?"
"Oh, you're a dead man...." Shalimar growled, lunging for him, getting him in a headlock and applying the noogie of death.
"Emma! Help!" Jesse laughed, squirming to get free.
"Hell no, you asked for that one, buddy," Emma drawled, tossing a balled up napkin at him. " 'Flappy and Pancake'," she giggled over the rim of her glass.
"You want some of this?" Shalimar laughed, thoroughly messing up Jesse's hair as she released him, taking a mock swing at Emma.
I'll be good," she promised, holding her hands up in surrender.
"Yeah, that's what all the guys say," Jesse winked.
"JESSE!!!"
More napkins flew through the air.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
"So, I guess I'll be seeing you all tomorrow," Brennan grinned, dropping some money on the table as they settled out the bill. "I'm off for a wild night...."
"Uhm, Brennan, before you go, we think there's something you should know," Shalimar grinned.
"What?" Brennan asked curiously.
"Well...we just think you should come back with us," Jesse grinned.
"Why?" he asked innocently.
"Well, we just think she's really not your type...." Emma started cautiously.
"Why not? She seems great to me."
"Trust me, she's not your type," Jesse said, patting him on the back. "Best you just come home with us, buddy."
"Why? So you can try to run off with her?"
"Noooooo, that is definitely not it," Jesse drawled.
"Or maybe you think she's not good enough for me?" Brennan queried.
"No, I wouldn't say that either...."
"Or is it because even though she's got a great rack, she's packing even more flesh between her legs?" Brennan asked with a grin. "Gotcha," he winked as everyone's mouth gaped open.
"What-You knew? I mean, you know? I mean-" Jesse stammered.
"Trust me, that's not something you can hide when you're lambada-ing on someone's leg all night," Brennan laughed. "I've known for over an hour. How long did you know?" he asked Emma sweetly.
"Uhm...I...er...that is-They made me!" she exclaimed, pointing at Jesse and Shalimar. "They wouldn't let me tell you!"
"You are so full of shit!" Shalimar laughed.
"You're all full of shit," Brennan grinned. "And believe me, payback's a bitch when it comes, and it will come soon, and OH so mean."
"Ah shit...." Shalimar groaned. "We've been had."
"Like I said, don't mess with the Master...." Brennan taunted as they all walked out, arms around each other into the night.
"Now let's think...which one of you am I going to get back first...?"
Created on ... April 25, 2003