Jim kept a firm grip on Blair as they followed Adam and Emma towards an open area of the park. The young man named Brennan and the blond woman, Shalimar, were following them all at a distance keeping an eye out for trouble. The only problem was that he felt as though trouble had found him and Blair and they were falling down the rabbit hole.

None of these people were right, none of them were right, that's what his senses were telling him. Only Adam and Blair were a bastion of sanity in a world gone awry. A world where a man could flare electricity between his fingertips and a woman had eyes that glowed and could jump twenty feet down from a tree without flinching. His fingers gripped Blair tighter and though he felt his partner's wince, Jim couldn't help himself.

He stopped short, dragging Blair to a halt as well.

"What?" Blair asked softly.

Feeling an odd warmth to the air, as though there was machinery nearby, Jim scanned the seemingly open area. There was a blur right in the center of it. A blur that Adam and Emma were striding towards.

"Keep going, Ellison."

Jim snarled wordlessly at the young man, who flinched and stepped back a pace, hands lighting up defense.

Blair grabbed Jim's face between his hands and Jim found himself calming as he looked into the steady blue orbs. His Guide knew better than he whether they would be safe with these people. His Guide could tell when someone wanted to harm them, more accurately even than Jim. Finally, he nodded and they continued on.

"Open up, Jesse," Adam said from ahead.

There was a brief shimmering and then an aircraft just appeared in the center of the blur that Jim had detected. The doors opened and Adam and Emma went inside. Blair tugged Jim forward and he went reluctantly.

The squeal of tires on pavement from behind caught his attention and he announced, "We've got company."

Brennan and Shalimar looked startled, but nodded acceptance, taking up position so he and Blair could get into the aircraft. Snorting to himself, recognizing the military tactic of putting the most vulnerable in the center of protection, Jim allowed Blair to urge him the rest of the way into the machine.

The interior was a wide, spacious room with several work stations, piled with high-tech gadgets Jim had never even conceived of, let alone used.

"Oh, cool!" Blair breathed, eyes wide with curiosity as he looked around.

Adam laughed briefly and said, "If you'll take a seat, we can get out of here."

Jim eyed the young man in the pilot's seat but didn't get the same rash of uncertainty as when dealing with the other three. Maybe it was the steady, though curious, blue-green gaze leveled at him and Blair, but there was something solid about the young man to Jim. Somehow, he was reminded of the earth, or a mountain maybe.

Shaking the odd impression from his mind, Jim sat beside Blair, keeping one hand on his partner's shoulder and the other at his waist.

"Dial it down, Jim," Blair ordered softly.

Jim frowned. "I don't even feel a vibration."

Brennan snorted and commented, "As much money as this thing cost, you shouldn't."

"Brennan," Adam reproved.

Shrugging, Brennan sat beside the pilot, long legs carelessly hanging over the edge of his seat.

From his seat across from Jim and Blair, Adam said, "All right. Now that we're all here and safe, I think some introductions are in order."

Leaning against Jim, Blair countered, "How about an explanation?"

Adam half-smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid that's a little too long for the trip back to Sanctuary. I suggest that the two of you rest for the night and we can start fresh in the morning. A full, complete explanation, no holds barred, I promise."

Blair looked up at Jim, but he shrugged, indicating that he'd go with whatever Blair decided was best. The younger man nodded and agreed, "All right. Tomorrow."

Adam's smile increased gratefully. "Thank you. Now, then. Your pilot this evening is Jesse Kilmartin. The somewhat electric personality beside him is Brennan Mulwray. You both know Emma, and the lovely lady prowling the back of the Double Helix, is Shalimar Fox."

"None of you is normal," Jim stated flatly. "Except for Blair and Adam, there's something wrong with all of you."

Blair snorted and pinched Jim's thigh. "Diplomacy isn't his strong suit."

Realizing how insulting what he'd just said was, Jim flushed a little and said, "Sorry. It's just...what are you people?"

"That's getting into the explanation part of things, but down and dirty, they are mutants. The next leap in human evolution," Adam explained.

Jim could practically feel Blair's excitement and muttered, "Down, Darwin."

Chuckling in his arms, Blair replied, "I think I can restrain myself."

"So where are we going?" Jim asked practically.

"Virginia," Adam answered. "Sanctuary is in Stormking Mountain, to be specific. Our home is in the mountain."

"Oh, cool," Blair repeated.

Jim's eyes locked onto Emma, who was staring intently at Blair with a tiny smile as his eyes kept roving the compartment. Something about her, more than the others, was putting him on edge. If he'd had hackles, they'd have been raised to a point.

Emma gasped and turned wide eyes to Jim, shifting closer to Adam with fear.

"Emma?" Adam questioned.

Jim's fingers absently traced the outline of his gun as he continued to look at the young woman. She was dangerous to Blair, more dangerous than any of the others. Everything inside was telling him to protect Blair by taking her out.

Simultaneously, Blair and Adam broke the view by moving between them. Adam spun Emma around and wrapped her protectively in his arms. Blair again grabbed Jim's face between his hands, staring fiercely into Jim's eyes.

"Stop it! I mean it, Jim!" Blair warned, his voice a hard edge. "She's not going to hurt me! None of them are going to harm me or you."

But Jim shook his head stubbornly, senses locked onto her false smell. "You don't know, Blair. She's dangerous to you. So dangerous. I have to..."

Blair's fingers dug into his jaw painfully, forcibly focusing Jim's attention on him. Staring into Jim's eyes, he said evenly, "I forbid you to harm her."

Growling internally, Jim struggled against the battle. He had to obey his Guide, but this went against all of his instincts.

"You are not to hurt her, Jim. Promise me," Blair demanded softly.

Almost twitching in the need to squirm away from the merciless gaze, Jim finally nodded. "All right! Fuck! I won't touch her!"

"Or any of the others," Blair continued, inexorable.

Through clenched teeth, Jim agreed, "Or any of them."

Blair relaxed slowly, then released his hold and ran a hand gently over Jim's short hair. "Good."

When Blair sat beside him, Jim saw that Adam still had Emma blocked from him and that Shalimar and Brennan stood protectively in front of both. After a few seconds, Jim pulled out his gun and tossed it carefully onto the floor at their feet. He sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, his actions clearly stating, 'Ball's in your court.'

* * * *

Blair held his breath tensely, waiting for the reaction to Jim's disarming. He knew exactly what doing so had cost Jim, but was pretty sure the others didn't. It was tantamount to Jim hobbling and blindfolding himself to let go of his only real defense. Blair wanted to smooth things over, but this was between the warriors, the alphas, and he knew the next few minutes would determine what the pecking order would be.

Well, assuming they lived long enough to be part of the pecking order.

A hand appeared on Brennan's shoulder, pushing him aside. Emma was still holding to Adam, but not clinging, and Adam himself was looking thoughtfully at Jim. He looked into Emma's eyes and she let go. Adam moved into the middle of the area and picked up the gun, then held it out to Jim silently.

Wow. He had balls, Blair had to give Adam that.

Jim got to his feet and took the gun, putting in the holster at his waist. "Thanks."

Nodding, Adam replied, "Sure."

There was a subtle relaxation all around.

* * * *

Rubbing his eyes, Adam wondered if things could have possibly gone more wrong. He should have taken into account Jim's severely protective nature. He should have realized that being surrounded by people who screamed 'danger' to Jim, was a recipe for disaster.

He should have, at the very least, realized that Jim was armed.

"Don't beat yourself up about it."

Startled by Brennan's silent arrival, Adam snorted and said, "Why not? It couldn't have gone any worse if I'd planned it to."

Shrugging, Brennan pointed out, "They're here and no one got hurt."

"They shouldn't be here at all, not yet, and certainly not like this," Adam snapped. Taking a breath, he held a hand out to Brennan and apologized, "Sorry. God knows I don't have any reason to take this out on you."

"Well, I didn't help matters," Brennan said awkwardly.

Half-smiling, Adam leaned his head against the sofa cushion and closed his eyes. "And tomorrow I get to give them the highlights of MutantX 101. That should be pleasant."

Adam felt the dip in the couch, and the heat of Brennan sitting beside him, but forced himself not to react to the other's nearness. Not for the first time was Adam grateful that Brennan was elemental and not psionic. A thought crossed his mind and Adam frowned, cracking an eyelid open to look at the younger man. "What are you doing up? You went to bed hours ago."

"Couldn't sleep."

Straightening, Adam took a closer look at his friend and saw the tension in the broad frame. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Brennan nodded raggedly, looking away. "Bad one."

Heart going out to Brennan, Adam silently clasped his shoulder. If Brennan wanted to talk about it, he would. Though at this point, Adam rather despaired of the young man ever coming to terms with whatever had happened. The nightmares would be bad for another month or two and then fade away. This happened whenever Brennan was hit with a reminder of his past, no matter what form it took. He was so sensitive that sometimes, Adam feared it would be his undoing.

"You know what happens there...in prison," Brennan said slowly.

Not changing his expression, Adam nodded. "I do."

Biting his lower lip, Brennan whispered, "It happened. To me. My first time in, it happened a lot. It wasn't until I bulked up and sent a few of them to the infirmary that they finally left me alone."

"Oh, Brennan," Adam breathed. What he wouldn't give to take away that pain.

Sighing explosively, Brennan ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Yeah. I just...this time in...it did something to me, inside. Even before that damned serum. I saw Jesse in there, so cocky and sure of himself. Just like I used to be. But this time I, I knew what could happen. I was afraid, Adam, more afraid than I've been in a long time."

There wasn't anything Adam could say, but remembering what Brennan had asked for the last time, he slowly, gently, drew the other man close. Brennan curled over Adam's lap, surprising him with the move. Resting a hand on top of Brennan's head, he used the other to massage the broad shoulders.

"I can't keep it in this time," Brennan gasped. "I don't know why but I can't. I feel like I'm going to break, Adam. God, help me?"

Adam wrapped himself around Brennan, rocking him soothingly. "You don't have to keep it in, Brennan, I'm here for you. I've got you."

Long shuddering sobs wracked Brennan, but they were nearly silent, just gasping breaths as he shook in Adam's arms.

* * * *

"What's wrong?" Blair asked softly in the near dark.

Jim turned haunted eyes to Blair, but shook his head and moved restlessly back to their bed. What he'd just heard pass between Brennan and Adam wasn't something that he should repeat.

There were two beds in the room, but illogically, Jim needed to keep Blair within arm's reach. He knew, in his head, that Adam and the others weren't going to hurt either of them. But even thinking about Emma made him nervous enough to reach out and make sure Blair was still beside him.

"I doubt even they could make me disappear," Blair commented, amused.

Jim just snorted and kept his hand wrapped around Blair's wrist. With everything he'd witnessed in the last twelve hours, Jim wouldn't put anything beyond these people's capabilities.

* * * *

Sitting in his perch at the computer, Jesse watched as everyone else gathered in the eating area. It was really strange to see the other two men there, eating and talking with everyone. Well, at least Blair was, Jim didn't seem to be saying much of anything. And it wasn't that they didn't have mutants passing through Sanctuary all the time, because they did. But Jesse knew Adam meant for the two to become permanent fixtures on the team, and that was weird.

Blair seemed a little too hyper for Jesse's tastes. Oh, he was nice and all, and it seemed like Adam might have met his match in the brains department, or at least come close, but there was just something unsettling about the man. Jim, on the other hand, was rock steady. Aside from his stunt in the Double Helix the night before, which was completely understandable in the circumstances, the detective had been quiet as he observed everything.

Come to think of it, Jesse was reminded of Brennan and Adam when he looked at the older man. All three had the same intense drive to do what was right.

Shaking his head, he went back to monitoring Cascade to see what kind of outcry was being raised. So far, just the police banner was involved. Ellison's truck had been found, bullet-ridden of course, and since neither man was at the apartment, foul play had definitely been assumed. Captain Banks and his team were on the case, big surprise, and working it furiously. It would probably be a few hours before the news agencies caught hold of the disappearances.

Jesse stood and ambled over to Adam, leaning against the counter. "So far, the news agencies have been blacked out. Major Crimes is officially working the case, but pretty much the whole PD is involved."

Adam smiled briefly and said, "Thanks, Jesse."

Nodding, Jesse grabbed a seat next to Emma, nudging her with a grin. "Morning, Em."

She poked him back, replying, "Morning, Jess."

"All right. Now that we're all here, let's get started," Adam began. "I'll try and keep it short, just to the main points. I used to work for a company called Genomex, which worked mostly on government contracts. My work, as Blair knows, was in genetics. Mason Eckhart was a long-time friend and my boss. What I didn't know at the time, was that he was using my research, twisting it to change people who were coming to us for help. Thus were born the new mutants.

"When I found out what he was doing, I left and started MutantX to help the people who had been hurt the most. We find the mutants and send them somewhere to start a new life with new identities. Our job is to protect."

Adam paused and looked at Blair just then, but when Jesse looked over, the young man only wore a mildly pleasant expression.

"Genomex as we knew it, is gone now. Mason has been given a taste of his own medicine and been hidden away somewhere in a stasis pod," Adam continued. "The man who put him there, Gabriel Ashlocke, is dead. The government now wants to deal with mutants directly, as a kind of security team when their own people can't do the job, instead of locking them in a lab to study. For that, they have to go through me.

"Now, the people who were after you last night are an unknown. Jesse didn't pick up any specific government insignia, which means black ops. I imagine that they went after you because they noticed I was taking an interest in you and for that, I am truly sorry," Adam finished.

Jim murmured something into Blair's ear that caused the younger man to grin and stifle a chuckle. Jesse looked at them curiously, wondering what could be funny about Adam's apology and/or explanation. Jim met his gaze and gave him the faintest of winks before looking away. Surprised at the unexpected behavior, Jesse glanced back at Adam. Oh yeah, not thrilled.

Blair shifted away from Jim and looked at Adam, an expectant look on his face. "So, what are we talking about here? Joining the team, right?"

Adam nodded and replied, "Right."

"I don't suppose you remember how much I can't fight?" Blair pointed out dryly.

Adam shook his head. "No, I know that. We can train you."

"What if I don't want to learn?"

Obviously taken aback by the simple statement, Adam didn't respond at first. Then he said, "If you choose not to join MutantX, then we'll do the same for you as we do everyone else. You'll have new lives and new identities to protect you."

Blair held up a hand. "That's not what I said. I said, what if I didn't want to learn how to fight? Better still, what if I can't? You saw me in the park. My lungs just aren't up for a hell of a lot, and probably never will be."

"I might be able to fix that."

Blair smiled and said, "And if you can't? What then? I'm not trying to be difficult here, Adam. But in order for Jim to use his senses, fully use them, I have to be with him."

"You were with him in all kinds of action before, what's the difference now?" Brennan demanded.

Not offended, Blair answered easily, "The difference is that people weren't able to electrocute me with a flick of their little finger. All I had to worry about was the traditional methods of being killed, you know, shot, stabbed, blown-up? Even putting that aside, Jim's having a hell of a time with his senses around all of you and you're the supposed good guys."

"Supposed?" Shalimar exclaimed.

Addressing at the angry woman, Blair challenged, "Think about it from our point of view. You show up and our lives are gone. For all we know, you're some terrorist group that the government's trying to protect the world from and only wanted to stop you from recruiting us for your evil work."

Jesse couldn't help it. He laughed out loud at the thought of any of them doing anything wrong, let alone anything evil. Everyone looked at him and he hastily got himself under control. "Sorry."

Jim again murmured something into Blair's ear, which caused a face-splitting grin before Blair could get it under control.

Jesse was dying to know what the older man was saying.

"There's no real way for you to know that we're telling the truth, except to trust us," Adam said at last.

"Tell me about the mutant powers."

Jesse wondered about the 'me.' Shouldn't it have been 'us?'

"The major classifications are Elemental, Molecular, Psionic, and Feral. Elemental, as you've seen with Brennan, allows the mutant to draw from the powers of nature. Ferals have greater speed and agility, heightened senses. Psionic mutants have different ESP abilities. And moleculars can shift themselves and the matter around them into different states of being."

"Jesse's a molecular," Jim stated, speaking for the first time that morning.

Startled at being singled out, Jesse confirmed, "Yeah."

Everyone waited for Jim to say something else, but he only nodded. Well, everyone except Blair, Jesse noticed.

"What did you envision, Adam?" Blair asked into the silence. "What did you think that Jim and I could do for MutantX? And was that whole thing about my mother a lie?"

Adam shook his head and said vehemently, "No! I met your mother purely by chance at a café. I didn't lie about that. I didn't lie about anything, I just…didn't come completely clean."

With a shrug, Blair pointed out, "A lie of omission…"

"Is still a lie," Adam finished. "I know. And I'm sorry. But if I had told you all of this off the bat, would you have believed me?"

"With everything that's happened in our lives? Probably."

Sighing, Adam said, "I can't undo what I've done. I wish I could, Blair."

"You didn't answer my question. What did you see Jim and I doing here?"

"I had hoped, with Jim's experience and senses, to integrate the both of you into the team, in whatever fashion your strengths dictated," Adam answered.

"And snagging a sample of Jim's DNA never crossed your mind."

Something in the other man's bland tone warned Jesse that Adam had better answer carefully.

After only a brief hesitation, Adam admitted, "It did. And I did, actually, at the restaurant. I had everything packed up."

"Right down to the water in the water glass, I'll bet," Jim rumbled.

"I wouldn't take that bet," Jesse muttered under his breath.

Jim looked at him sharply, and Jesse cursed himself for forgetting the hearing thing. He shrugged an apology to the other man and was relieved when Jim gave him a faint smile and returned his attention to Adam. Those eyes were like lasers and Jesse had the feeling that he didn't ever want to see them in a rage.

But Adam bit the bullet and agreed, "Right down to that. I won't lie to you, Detective. Your DNA may be the link that I've been looking for. You see, the genetic code of most new mutants is unstable. That's because it's artificially induced. You, however, are completely natural. You were born with your enhanced senses. If I can figure out what the difference is, I might be able to permanently stabilize all of them."

"And if we say no? That you can't use the samples that you stole?" Blair asked.

Adam winced at the accusation, but didn't deny it. "I need to use those samples, Blair."

Stubborn, Blair repeated, "If we say no?"

Obviously frustrated, Adam finally replied, "Then I won't use them. I promise."

Blair looked at Jim who actually smiled, if only for a short moment, and nodded, saying, "He's telling the truth, Chief. All of it."

Jesse's jaw dropped open at the confident statement. He could tell when someone was lying!? From Adam's startled expression, he knew that the older man hadn't suspected that particular ability.

"Jim's not only a human crime lab, he's also a damn good polygraph," Blair informed them. "Not infallible, but near enough. Especially when the suspect doesn't know he's being monitored."

Recovering, Adam stated, "That wasn't anywhere in your thesis."

With a shrug, Blair agreed, "I had to cut a lot of my findings out of the final diss. There just wasn't enough room. Anything that had to do with Jim's abilities in a law enforcement setting, I kept out of the paper. I guess even then, I was thinking about what would happen if it ever got out. What would be the least damaging, what had the least impact. Not that it helped."

Adam frowned, but only said, "So you had Jim monitor me to see how much of what I said was the truth, if any of it."

Blair nodded. "And since you didn't know, you couldn't attempt to confuse his senses."

"Emma could have warned me," Adam observed.

Grinning now, Blair looked at Emma and asked, "What did you sense from Jim?"

Looking somewhat apologetic at both Adam and Jim, though for different reasons, Emma answered, "Just that he was very focused on what everyone was saying and their reactions to Blair. It didn't occur to me to wonder why he'd be that focused."

Adam chuckled ruefully and gripped her shoulder before looking back at Blair. "Well played, Blair. So what's the outcome?"

Blair looked at Jim, and though Jesse couldn't see any kind of signal pass between them, the younger man nodded and replied to Adam, "Count us in. Where do we start?

* * * *

Jim hovered anxiously on the sidelines as Adam worked with Emma at the computer monitors that revealed a bizarre and futuristic image of his partner. Both of them seemed very engrossed in whatever the diagnostic machine was telling them. Jim could hear what they were saying, but the medical terms meant nothing to him, so he wasn't bothering.

After the morning information session had broken up, Adam had asked if anyone needed to know that they were safe, and they'd both answered with Simon's name. So Adam had had them write a letter each and give them to Shalimar who would deliver them. The others had gone about their business, whatever the hell that involved.

Blair and he had followed Adam and Emma into this infirmary. Adam had told them that they would determine the depth of damage Blair's lungs had taken, and how much, if any of it, could be healed. Blair had been guided onto an examination table that looked more like a dentist's chair than anything else, and asked to take his shirts off. Then some weird laser thing had passed over Blair and Adam and Emma had started their medical-babble.

That was almost an hour ago.

Finally, Adam said, "All right, Blair, you can sit up and get dressed."

Jim left his spot against the wall and walked to his partner. "You all right, Chief?"

"Fine," Blair assured him with a grin. "That was so cool! Just a little tingle, not quite a tickle, you know? Man! I can't wait to get my hands on some of this stuff!"

Chuckling, Jim said, "There's a surprise."

Adam joined them with, "I have good news and bad news."

Bracing himself, Blair asked, "What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is we can't repair everything and it is permanent."

With a sigh, Blair nodded. "The good news?"

Smiling broadly, Adam said, "The good news is that we can give you back ninety-three percent capacity. And that, too, will be permanent."

Jim's jaw dropped at the pronouncement. "Excuse me?"

"I have a serum that will reduce a substantial amount of the scarring on Blair's lungs, which is the main problem. Once that's taken care of, with exercise and therapy, Blair should be able to increase his capacity on his own," Adam explained.

Looking as shell-shocked as Jim felt, Blair stammered, "Wh-why isn't this thing on the market?"

"It's in the beginning process of FDA trials and patents," Adam replied. "I can't just spring it onto the public, as much as I want to."

"Wait. It hasn't even gone through trials yet?" Jim demanded.

Adam shook his head. "Officially, no. But I assure you that it's 100% safe for human consumption and does exactly as I've said it will."

"Ah, Adam? Give us a minute here?" Blair asked.

Adam nodded and rejoined Emma at the console.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Jim said, "We don't know that this won't hurt you, Blair. He just said it hasn't been tested."

Resting a hand on Jim's arm, Blair countered, "He just said it was safe and effective. Jim, man, if we're going to trust them, we have to trust them with everything and that includes our health. Besides, what can it hurt? It's not like I've got anything to lose."

Still hesitating, Jim knew that Blair was right. But trusting his Guide to someone who was basically a stranger was against the grain.

"Jim, it'll be okay," Blair promised, squeezing his arm.

With a sigh, Jim gave in. Like he could ever refuse his partner anything? Especially when it might actually work? Not a chance.

Blair waved Adam over and said, "That sounds like a plan."

Lips twitching suspiciously, Adam nodded. "Great. Oh, and while we have you here in the infirmary, I'd like to take proper DNA samples from you both."

Surprised, Jim asked, "Both?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"When we were in the park, when Blair was bringing you out of your zone, I felt something remarkably like a psionic compulsion from him," Adam explained.

Glancing at Blair fondly, Jim commented, "I don't think he's that easy to explain, Adam."

* * * *

There was not one single, solitary clue. The tire tracks were too generic. The bullet casings from Jim's gun or untraceable. No fingerprints in the loft or on the truck that didn't belong to Jim or Blair.

Sighing, Simon rubbed his eyes tiredly before replacing his glasses. He didn't even have the will to pull out a new cigar. His two best friends had vanished without a trace and, from all evidence, weren't coming back. That's assuming they hadn't been killed outright.

A knock at his door brought Simon's head up and he straightened in surprise at the beautiful young woman on the other side. Getting to his feet, he motioned her inside, automatically noting her Visitor's badge was one for outside law enforcement agents, not civilians.

She smiled brilliantly and asked, "Captain Banks? I hope you don't mind me dropping in like this."

"Not at all, Ms…?" Simon replied, holding out his hand.

She took his hand and supplied, "Fox. Shalimar Fox."

"What can I do for you, Ms. Fox?" Simon questioned, motioning her into a chair in front of his desk.

Sitting, she replied, "I'm here to observe your operations for the day. You should have received the paperwork yesterday."

Wincing, Simon indicated the hectic men and women outside his office. "We're in the middle of a crisis, so I'm not surprised I didn't get the reqs."

"Well here, I've got copies with me," she replied, searching her bag and pulling them out.

Simon took the papers from then and stilled upon recognizing Jim's handwriting. He looked sharply at the woman, but she was sitting relaxed, waiting for him to read, apparently. Glancing back at the paper, he began to do just that.

Simon,

That day we tried not to think about is here. Blair and I won't be back, it's too dangerous for everyone, not just us. You can't let anyone else know that we're okay. I wish you could, but we need to disappear completely.

You've been a great friend, Simon, the best, and maybe someday we'll see each other again. That's what I hope for, at least.

Take care, and stay safe.

Jim

Clearing his throat to dispel the emotions rising inside, Simon shuffled the paper behind the next and saw Blair's familiar scrawl.

Hey Simon,

I am so sorry about this, man, I wish we didn't have to take off on you like this, especially not the way we did. If wishes were horses, though, right? Anyhow, we're in a good spot, so you don't have to worry. I know you will, but just don't give yourself an ulcer about it, okay?

Tell Darryl that there's a surprise for him at the loft. My room, under the futon. He'll know it when he sees it. It was supposed to be for his birthday, but I guess I won't be making it. And I'm sorry about that, too.

Not to be morbid or anything, but you should probably arrange memorial services for us in a few months. Jim's got all the deeds and papers to the loft, and our wills, in a safety-deposit box at the bank. His spare key is in his desk there at work.

I guess that's everything. And I know that your stoic manliness is cringing at this, but I love you, Simon. You taught me so much over the last few years. You're the best. The father I never had, but always prayed for.

Yours always,

Blair

For several moments, Simon just stared at the paper and knew that his friends really weren't ever coming back. Finally he wiped at his eyes and carefully folded the papers. Simon put them in his top drawer, meaning to put them in his personal safe when he went home. When he looked up to question Shalimar, the woman was gone.

Well, and didn't that just figure?

* * * *

"When was the last time you slept?"

Adam grinned at the imperious demand and glanced at Brennan lounging casually against the doorframe into his study. Leaning back in his chair, Adam replied, "I didn't realize it was your turn to watch me."

Eyes rolling, Brennan stepped the rest of the way into the study and straddled a chair backwards, resting his arms on the back. "It's always my turn."

Snorting, Adam rolled his neck and commented, "You're certainly more persistent about it."

"I try."

"I know. Incessantly."

"What can I say? I'm good," Brennan said, shining his fingernails across his t-shirt. "What're you working on, anyhow? Not like we're under the gun for a change."

Adam shrugged. "Not at the moment, no, but I need to get a real handle on understanding Jim's abilities. It helped that Shalimar was able to get Blair's research while she was back in Cascade."

Brennan chuckled and said, "Speaking of which. Have you seen the two of them? Shal and Jim? It's like two alley cats fighting for domination."

"That might be more apt than you realize," Adam answered.

"How do you mean?"

Sighing, Adam explained, "There's a spiritual aspect to the Sentinel heritage that's absent in the mutant life, or everyday life for that matter. Jim's spirit animal is a panther. Territorial, mates for life, a hunter, deadly. Being a feral, Shalimar probably senses something different enough about Jim to put her hackles up, but similar enough for her to tolerate. Same goes for Jim."

"Spirit animal?"

Adam grinned at Brennan's blatant disbelief. Not surprising that Brennan wasn't taking that on the first go. "Spirit animal."

"Right. And by the way, don't think that I don't see you're trying to get around me with this little lecture," Brennan observed, a grin tugging his lips. "Fascinating as it is."

As if to emphasis the younger man's point, Adam's body betrayed him into yawning.

"Ah ha! See?"

Getting to his feet, Adam replied, "I'm going, I'm going. Satisfied?"

"Delirious," Brennan said dryly, also getting to his feet.

They walked silently, companionably, down the hall to their sleeping quarters, shoulder to shoulder. Adam's room came up first and suddenly, he felt ridiculously as if Brennan had walked him home after a date. Shaking the distracting thought from mind, he smiled up at the taller man and said, "Thanks."

"Anytime. Just be sure to actually sleep when you get to bed," Brennan warned.

Chuckling, Adam nodded and promised, "I will."

"Good. See you in the morning."

Adam watched Brennan walk away then shook his head at useless fantasies and entered his room.

* * * *

"She's driving me nuts, Chief!"

Blair stifled a smile, even though he knew Jim could tell he was amused. If Jim had a tail, it would be lashing side to side in agitation. As it was, there was a definite growl to Jim's voice as he complained about Shalimar. The two had been oil and water since day one and things weren't getting better as time wore on. Granted, it had only been a couple of weeks since their arrival, but there was no real sign of improvement.

It probably wasn't helping matters that Jim was feeling trapped. They both were, but Blair wasn't feeling nearly as pinched as his partner. It wasn't in Jim's nature to be so limited in his contact with people.

"I'm glad you're finding this so funny, Sandburg," Jim snapped.

Bringing his attention to the matter at hand, Blair got to his feet and put his hand at the base of Jim's spine. "I'm sorry, Jim. Look, how about we go exploring? We haven't been out of the mountain since we got here and it's getting to me too. Maybe all you need is some space."

"Without Shalimar."

"Without Shalimar," Blair agreed.

After a brief hesitation, Jim nodded. "That…yeah. Sounds good, Chief. Just the two of us."

Ooh. Now Blair knew the real problem. He hadn't even thought about that. He'd been spending almost all his time either with Adam in the lab, or Brennan and Jesse training, that the two of them hadn't been one-on-one since their relocation. Of course Jim would be snarling at Shalimar without the input from his Guide.

At least he'd stopped unnerving everyone with the extra surveillance on Emma.

Rubbing Jim's back, he smiled up at his friend and ordered, "Stay put. I'll go ask Jesse if he'll fly us to the nearest town."

Jim nodded then ruffled Blair's half-grown in curls with a grin and, "Thanks, Chief."

Ducking away with an irritated noise, Blair made a face at Jim before leaving their room. Even though they knew, now, that nothing bad was going to happen to either of them at Sanctuary, Jim had seemed reluctant to split up. Blair had accepted it as part of needing his Guide near in a new place and not made any fuss. It wasn't like they hadn't been roommates for the last four years.

Spotting Adam at the end of the hall, he called out, "Adam!"

Adam stopped, facing him with a smile. "I haven't seen you all day. How's the training going?"

"They're sadists," Blair replied, snorting. "I was looking for the head sadist, but you'll do."

Chuckling, Adam said, "What can I do for you?"

"Jim and I were going into town, whatever town that might be, but we need a lift," Blair answered.

"Why?"

"Because we're in a mountain on the ocean?"

Adam half-smiled. "No, I mean why are you going into town?"

"Because we want to," Blair answered, frowning a little. "Is there a problem?"

"No, of course not. I just thought that it might be a little too soon for the two of you to be out in public. They haven't even given up searching for you yet," Adam pointed out.

Blair shrugged and said, "I know, but Jim's going a little too stir-crazy for my comfort."

"I had noticed."

"Yeah. He needs to connect with the community in a big way," Blair explained, keeping the other explanation under wraps. He wasn't sure why he didn't want to mention the quality time for the two of them to the other man, but he didn't.

Sighing, Adam looked concerned, but gave in. "All right. I'll have Jesse drive you into the city."

Startled, Blair asked, "Drive?"

Adam nodded and answered, "We have a garage full of cars you can pick from."

"Well damn. Jesse doesn't need to bring us, then," Blair said. "I thought we had to fly."

"I'd feel more comfortable if…"

Blair interrupted firmly, "Jesse doesn't need to bring us."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Adam nodded.

Smiling again, Blair said, "Great! I'll go get Jim."

He felt the other man's gaze on him, but ignored it. Adam was just going to have to get used to the fact that where Jim was concerned, Blair was in charge, not him.

* * * *

"Adam, I really don't feel right spying on them," Jesse said.

"I know, and I appreciate that, Jess. But we can't let them go out on their own just yet. What if that government agency is just waiting for this kind of opportunity?"

Figured that Adam would use the only argument that would get him to do it. Then again, that's why he was the boss. He honestly liked Jim, had from the first, and Blair was growing on him pretty quickly. Especially when he'd stumbled on them doing some kind of meditation thing the other morning in the garden. Jim had looked exceptionally peaceful as Blair walked him through a guided meditation with that soft, soothing voice of his.

"Besides, you aren't spying on them," Adam finished. "You're making sure they don't get into trouble. I don't want you monitoring their conversations or what they do, just that no one tries to get them."

Sighing, Jesse asked plaintively, "Why me?"

"Because Jim already has you classified as a friend in his senses. They won't pick you out like they would any of the rest of us."

Glum, Jesse said, "Great. So when he finds out, that'll change."

Chuckling, Adam clapped him on the shoulder and assured him, "I'll make sure and take full responsibility."

"Make sure and put that on my tombstone," Jesse muttered as he walked away.

* * * *

Jim didn't cast his senses wide open as they walked through the mall, but they were more open than usual, greedily pulling in the input he hadn't even realized that he'd missed. Jim had always thought that being somewhere quiet would be a blessing, and in a way it was, but he was so used to filtering out all the city noises that it had put a strain on him that he hadn't even noticed.

"You're looking perky."

Eyebrows rising, Jim demanded, "Perky? I don't think anyone's ever called me that before."

"Not and lived anyhow," Blair agreed mischievously.

"Funny, Chief."

Blair hip-checked him with a grin and moved towards a South American kiosk in the middle of the corridor. Jim's eyes lingered on the wild riot of curls as Blair started talking to the merchant in Spanish. He was relieved that his friend's hair was growing back in so quickly. It was stupid, he knew, but seeing the short hair reminded Jim painfully of how he hadn't been able to protect Blair.

Not that Blair really needed his protection. He'd been perfectly capable of taking care of himself before starting his training with Jesse and Brennan. Though he performed his own workout solo, Jim had sat in on a couple of the later sessions. He'd not been in the least surprised to find Blair had taken to it like a fish to water. The younger man was graceful and quick, as well as a quick study. Aside from that, he was highly motivated getting up to speed as fast as possible.

Sighing, Jim wondered if part of him didn't miss the days when Blair depended on him more. What did he really have to offer Blair, after all? Not only had his livelihood been ripped from him because of Jim, now the life itself that he'd built was gone as well. If he hadn't met up with Jim, Blair would be a professor by now and happily attached to some gorgeous young thing. Instead, he was stuck in some secret hideout where prospects were only slightly less than grim.

Blair glanced back at him with a frown, as if sensing the dark tinge his thoughts had taken and Jim forced a smile and waved him back to his conversation. Arching an eyebrow at Jim, Blair nonetheless did start talking again.

Shaking the thoughts away as best he could, Jim returned to scanning the area, leaning against the wall. He caught brief snatches of conversations from the people around him, breathed in the mix of perfumes, colognes, and body odor. Once upon a time, it would have had him reeling in distress, but not it was a great, big, white-noise generator.

His hearing picked up a violent thread and he dialed up to better decipher the problem.

"We know you've got them, Kilmartin, save yourself the pain and just tell us where they are," an unfamiliar voice ordered harshly.

Snapping to attention, Jim kept his hearing up even as he strode to Blair and put his arm casually around the other man's shoulder, dragging him from the kiosk. Thankfully, Blair played along, putting his arm around Jim's waist and waving goodbye to the merchant.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," Jesse groaned.

The sound of fist meeting flesh sent a burst of anger through Jim.

"What's wrong?" Blair whispered in his ear.

"It's Jesse," Jim answered, concentrating to find out where the voices were coming from. "Someone's got him and is questioning him about us. Beating him."

Worried, Blair demanded, still soft, "Why doesn't he just phase?"

Jim shrugged and closed his eyes to get a lock on the other man. There were a few more punches, this time sounded like the face and torso, and then Jesse spat blood to the floor and grunted, "Is that it? Wimps."

Rolling his eyes, Jim muttered, "What is it with being a smart ass? C'mon, I've got a lock."

Blair pulled away and followed as Jim led the way to an Employees Only door, pulling his gun clear.

"How many?" Blair asked.

Jim looked in the tiny, tinted glass and saw three men, two holding Jesse between them while the third threw the punches. They weren't armed, for whatever reason, and that made it easy. With a feral grin, Jim stepped back and motioned Blair back down the hall as he holstered his gun.

Frowning, Blair demanded, "What's going on?"

"Jesse's not giving us up, so why confirm that we're here?" Jim pointed out. Nodding to the security guard, he continued, "Go tell him that someone's being beaten up, three on one."

Blair nodded and hurried over to the guard to do just that.

Keeping an ear on Jesse and an eye on Blair, Jim ran his fingers over his jeans and the cool tiled wall to keep the input balanced. Jesse was getting it pretty good, but at least they didn't seem to be in a hurry. Blair easily convinced the guard to get a lot of backup and in only a few minutes, drifted away from the massing security force, reappearing at Jim's side behind a column.

They found a spot to keep an eye on the action but remain out of sight. Jim wrapped his arms around Blair's chest, pulling the smaller man close and resting a chin on his friend's shoulder. In only another few minutes, chaos erupted at the end of which, the three thugs were in custody and Jesse was being treated by an EMT. They stayed put, Blair contentedly leaning back against Jim as they waited for the perps to be dragged out of the mall and the crowd to disperse.

They passed the time waiting outside the security office for Jesse by talking quietly and people watching. Finally, Jesse emerged and they stood from the mall bench, still keeping out of range of the cameras.

Jim hid a grin at the groan Jesse uttered upon seeing them.

"It was you."

Jim nodded. "It was. You all right?"

"Just embarrassed and sore."

"So it wasn't a coincidence that you were here," Blair stated.

Shaking his head, Jesse confirmed, "Adam wanted me to keep an eye on you, make sure you were okay."

As they started walking, Blair questioned, "Why didn't you just phase, Jess?"

"I couldn't. Adam's going to love this one. A subdermal governor without the hassles of the machine itself."

Jim took the thick, plastic collar with a ruby-like gem in the center from Jesse when the young man held it out. "Which does…what?"

"Prevents us from using out powers."

Curious, Jim stopped and put it on, dialing up his sight. The other end of the corridor came close and he saw the Food Court sign as clear as if standing beneath it. Dialing back down, he pulled it off and said, "Doesn't affect me."

Snorting, Jesse commented, "Lucky you."

They reached the exit and Jim stopped again, putting a hand on Blair's shoulder, asking, "Can you make it back all right on your own?"

Surprised, Jesse nodded. "You're not coming?"

"No."

"We're not?" Blair questioned, also surprised.

"No, we're not," Jim answered, before returning his attention to Jesse. "Tell Adam that we're going to eat at a restaurant, probably not of my choosing, then go to a movie, probably also not of my choosing. Then, if we're ready, we'll be back."

"Ah, sure. No problem."

"And Jesse?"

Jesse winced, waiting.

"Next time you want to keep an eye on us, just come over and hang out, okay?"

Again surprised, Jesse nodded and agreed, "I will. I didn't want to, but…"

"Adam."

"Yeah."

Jim briefly gripped Jesse's shoulder. "Drive safe."

The young man nodded and headed out of the mall. Jim watched to make sure he got in and away without any trouble, then dialed down and turned to Blair. "Ready?"

"Lead on, McDuff."

"Arf, Sandburg."

* * * *

Blair actually let Jim choose the restaurant, briefly thankful that Wonder Burger was a west coast phenomenon, and they wound up at bland Italian place downtown. It was early enough not to be crowded, so they were able to wrangle a table in the back where Jim could see most of the place at a glance.

Relaxing with a deep sigh, Blair commented, "You were awfully easy on Jesse."

Jim shrugged. "Not his fault he got conned into it. I'm sure Adam was more than persuasive."

"It makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?" Blair asked slowly, buttering a warm roll.

Not bothering to ask for clarification, Jim nodded and answered, "A little. They're so young, Chief. They should be out having fun or going to college or something. Anything but getting into life and death situations."

Taking a bite, Blair eyed his friend for a long moment before grinning and pointing out, "Brennan and Shalimar are my age, Jim. And if they were in the military, things wouldn't be any different."

"But they're not. They're one man's private army."

"And it bugs you."

"Yeah, it does. I know Adam's a good man, I've been watching him since we got here. Watching all of them, really," Jim said. "But he's judge and jury here. You know the saying about absolute power."

"True. But he doesn't have absolute power. The others can leave any time they want."

"Like they would?"

"No, probably not. The point is, Adam is doing what he thinks is right, doing what needs to be done. The only thing he doesn't have that would make you at ease with all of this is official sanction of some kind," Blair finished.

Jim scowled and sipped at his wine. "What's wrong with that?"

Arching an eyebrow at Jim, Blair asked, "So now you want the government involved?"

A rueful smile crossed Jim's face as he said, "Can't have it both ways, can I?"

Blair grinned again, shaking his head. "Sorry, big guy. Just doesn't work that way. If it helps any, I think Adam's on the right track. I did a lot of research since we've been at Sanctuary and these people really could use our help."

Sighing, Jim replied, "It does help, but, I just don't feel…"

"What?" Blair prompted when Jim's voice faded off.

"Connected. It's like…I'm just me, you know? I don't really have…it's not Cascade."

Suddenly worried that maybe Jim couldn't shift himself to a new community, and terrified of what that meant if they had to go back to Cascade, Blair asked, "Are you all right? Any physical distress? Maybe we should…"

"Relax, Blair, I'm fine," Jim assured him. "I think once I get into the swing of things and actually feel like I'm doing something, I'll feel better."

Unhappy, but willing to accept Jim's judgement for the time being, Blair nodded and finished off his roll.

The waitress returned with their food then, and conversation drifted to other things. The night passed in a pleasant manner, drawing things out over desert and even an after dinner drink. Blair couldn't remember the last time Jim had been so relaxed. It was probably before the disaster with the dissertation. Because after that, there had been Blair's attempt to become an official cop and Jim had been constantly worried about his safety.

"Where are you?"

Startled at the quiet inquiry, Blair looked Jim and was even more surprised to find a guarded expression in place. So much for relaxed. "I was just thinking that I hadn't seen you so relaxed in too long. Jim, I'm so sorry about all of this."

Eyebrows furrowing, Jim demanded, "Excuse me? How is this your fault?"

"My dissertation is what brought us here. If I'd only flushed it, we'd be in the loft right now," Blair said, depressed.

Jim reached across the table and gripped Blair's forearm. "None of this is your fault, Blair. How many times do we have to have this damn discussion?"

Smiling wearily, Blair answered, "Probably a thousand or so."

"Well I'm tired of it, Sandburg. Do you hear me? Not another God damned fucking word about it," Jim hissed, releasing Blair's arm to lean back.

Blair hadn't seen that stone expression aimed at him since that day on the docks and it ripped his heart out just as easily as it had then. Swallowing, he looked down at the remains of his desert, the sweet turning sour in his stomach. How did he always screw things up so completely, so quickly?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…God, I'm sorry, Blair."

Biting his lip, Blair murmured, "I'm trying, Jim, I really am. I know I look like I know what I'm doing here, but I don't. And I can't…if you hate me, I don't blame you, but I can't do this on my own. I don't know if I can do it at all."

Jim groaned and got up from his seat to slide into the booth beside Blair, putting his arms around the smaller man.

Blair's hands clenched in the sweater and he held tight, burying his face against Jim's chest, hiding in the embrace, though he couldn't have said from what. It just felt good to be held and wrapped in the other man's strength. To feel the arms protecting him. When Jim pressed a lingering kiss to the top of his head, Blair froze, not breathing or moving a muscle. It seemed as though Jim did the same, because he could feel the stillness in the other man's body.

"Ah, Sandburg?"

"Yeah, Jim?"

"I'm kind of dying out here. Was…was that okay?"

Blair sighed deeply, relaxing utterly in Jim's arms. "Yeah. Yeah, Jim, it was definitely okay."

* * * *

Staring into space, Adam wondered if it was at all possible that his luck could get any worse. Not only had Jim and Blair had to rescue Jesse, they probably weren't going to come back. And he couldn't even fault them. As always, he'd had the best of intentions, but they'd led straight to hell.

"I heard what happened," Brennan commented.

Adam snorted. "I'm surprised it took so long. Jesse's slipping."

With a half grin, Brennan shut the office door behind him and came the rest of the way into the room. "Actually, he told me about an hour ago, but I was in the middle of something."

"Ah."

Brennan leaned against the desk and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Aside from having just alienated our new friends you mean?"

"Yeah, aside from that."

"I'm peachy, to borrow a phrase from Emma," Adam replied.

"More like bronze."

"Excuse me?"

Flushing a little, Brennan said, "Nothing. Did you want some company, or am I making a pest of myself?"

Adam had to smile at the uncertainty. It was the essence of Brennan to barge in and then not be sure of his welcome. "You are always welcome, Brennan, always."

"Thanks. So you want to talk about it?" Brennan offered.

Leaning back in his chair, Adam looked up at the other man and said, "I just can't seem to do right where Jim and Blair are concerned."

"You fixed Blair's lungs, that's a damn good start, I'd say."

Adam shrugged it off. "I'm talking about finding a…a common ground, I guess. I keep thinking that I know what's best for them, but obviously I don't."

Snorting, Brennan observed, "You do that with everyone and everything. It's part of who you are."

"And it doesn't bother you that I'm so…" Adam hesitated, then gathered his courage and plunged on, "Egotistical?"

With a fond smile, Brennan shook his head and answered, "I'd say you're more of a busybody, than egotistical. Mother hen material, definitely. You're just looking out for us the best way you know how. Sometimes you get a little high-handed, I can't say you don't, but your record speaks for itself."

Unsure whether that was a compliment or not, Adam replied dryly, "Thanks."

"Hey, would you rather I give you empty praise?" Brennan challenged.

"Would it hurt once in a while?" Adam asked ruefully. "No, scratch that, I'm just feeling sorry for myself."

Brennan reached over and gripped his shoulder briefly. "You're allowed, Adam."

As Adam looked into the warm brown eyes, he thought something deeper than affection flickered across them, the hand lingering, almost caressing as it released him. His stomach tightened with unexpected arousal and he licked at suddenly dry lips.

Pulling back abruptly, Brennan got to his feet. "Ah, anyhow. I'm, I have to finish...something. I'll catch you later."

Adam watched the younger man's retreat, wondering what had just passed between them and aching for more than that fleeting glimpse into Brennan's heart.

* * * *

Adam waited in the garden, figuring that Blair and Jim would seek him out when they got back. It was cool, but not uncomfortably so, as he stared into the Koi pond.

"Adam?"

Surprised by Emma's appearance, he got to his feet. "Emma, what's wrong?"

Uncertain, she said, "I probably shouldn't say anything, but…it's Brennan."

Alarm flashed through him and he demanded, "What about Brennan?"

"I didn't read him, so I'm not sure, but I just passed him in the hall and something's wrong. I asked him about it, but he put me off. I thought, maybe you could talk to him?"

Adam nodded and briefly cupped her face. "Thank you, Emma. I'll find out what's wrong."

She nodded and watched him go, a smile playing about her lips as she murmured, "Take that, Mr. Knows What's Best For Everyone But Himself."

* * * *

The tap at his bedroom door surprised Brennan and he automatically looked at the clock: 11:57pm. Frowning, he sat up and called, "Come in."

Adam poked his head into the room. "Mind if I come in for a few minutes?"

Feeling strangely exposed, Brennan still shook his head and motioned him inside. He grabbed a shirt lying on the floor and pulled it on. "What's up?"

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Brennan asked.

Adam shook his head and answered, "Never mind. Not the reason I came here."

"Why did you?"

Hesitating, Adam said, "I was wondering what I said, before, that upset you."

Uncomfortable, Brennan got to his feet and replied, "Nothing."

"Okay. Let's try this another way. Are you upset with me?"

"No. Why would I be?"

"You tell me."

"I'm not."

"I think you are."

"No, I'm not," Brennan stated firmly.

Adam stepped forward, almost into Brennan's personal space, and he automatically stepped back. "If you aren't, then why are you staying away?"

Running a shaking hand through his hair, Brennan sent up a vain plea to any Gods that might be listening to give him control. Taking a breath, he said, "I'm just not in a good place right now, Adam."

"What's wrong?" Adam softly asked.

Brennan swallowed and took another step back. "I don't really want to talk about it."

With a sigh, Adam said, "I wish you would trust me enough to let me help, Brennan."

"I do trust you. That's why I have to take care of this myself."

"Brennan, that makes no sense."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Adam eyed him for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times before staying shut. He reached out and placed a palm over Brennan's chest.

Flinching at the unexpected touch, Brennan prayed the other man could feel how fast his heart was beating but knew that, too, was a vain hope. "Please, Adam…don't."

"Don't what?" Adam whispered, stepping closer.

Brennan again stepped back, only this time hit the wall. "I…would you back up?"

* * * *

Jim growled softly and yanked Blair close, kicking the bedroom door shut behind them. Blair's hands were all over him, he seemed to have grown a couple of extra pairs, not that Jim was complaining. No chance of that. Blair cupped him through his jeans and Jim moaned, losing all will to do anything except what Blair wanted to do.

Blair hauled him down for a long, lingering kiss, exploring his mouth with the arrogant certainty of a man who knows how to please. Jim's senses were locked onto every aspect of his lover now, taste finally being added to the list.

Blair yanked the belt free, then pushed Jim's pants down, even as his tongue continued to tease back and forth inside Jim's mouth. Needing more contact, Jim ripped open Blair's shirt and chuckled at Blair annoyed hiss.

"You're finding all those damn buttons, Elli...umph!"

Jim maneuvered them towards the bed, landing with himself on the bottom, pulling Blair down with him. The kissing slowed from fast and rough, to reverent and he nearly cried at the love and desire coming from Blair's very pores. That he'd deluded himself to this possibility for years was something he didn't want to think about. That he was finally getting something he hadn't even realized was needed, Jim reveled in.

Then he stilled, hearing the raised voices from down the hall; Adam and Brennan.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked, panting a little.

Frowning, Jim caught the pain in both men's voices and answered, "I'm not sure. I'm going to check it out, okay?"

Blair sighed explosively, both irritated and understanding. "Yeah, okay. Go, before I change my mind."

Jim stole another, deep kiss, then got out from under his lover and pulled his pants up and headed for the door.

* * * *

Moving back, Adam's hand dropped to his side and he asked, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it wouldn't matter," Brennan replied, tired. "I've been hoping that you'd find someone for months now."

"But, why?"

Flushing, Brennan answered, "Because of what happened to me, okay? Do I have to spell it out to you?"

Adam held out his hand. "It wouldn't be like that, Brennan."

"You can't promise that."

"Yes I can," Adam soothed. "Rape is as different from love, as ice from fire. They aren't even in the same classification."

"I can't even think about it, about you like that, without getting nauseous," Brennan exclaimed, his voice rising. "Don't you think I tried? I want to, God do I want to, Adam, but I can't!"

Helpless, Adam put his hand over his heart and said, "It doesn't matter to me. All I want is to be with you, here."

"You're going to want to, Adam, eventually," Brennan said, trying to stay calm.

Adam shook his head and stated crudely, "I can use my own hand if I have to."

"It's not fair to you. I can't let you think that there could be anything more than this between us, because there can't be."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do."

"No you don't!" Adam snapped. "And how you can compare what I feel to what happened to you…I'm not like that!"

Brennan flinched and hugged himself, making himself surprisingly small for such a large man. "I know, Adam, I know that. I just…I can't. Not with you or any other man."

Taking a breath, calming himself down, Adam tried again with, "You don't know if you don't try, Brennan. Please. Just give us a chance."

But Brennan shook his head, holding tighter to himself. "I can't. I'm sorry."

Swallowing heavily, Adam whispered, "I love you."

Brennan closed his eyes, pained. "I can't love you back."

* * * *

Jim watched as Adam walked blindly down the corridor, not paying the least bit of attention to where he was going. Following at a distance, Jim wasn't surprised to see the other man wind up in his study. Blair had often retreated to his office at Ranier when he was overwhelmed by the world.

Hearing the gasping breaths coming from inside the office, Jim opened his senses and found Adam's blood pressure dangerously high. Without stopping to think, he entered the office, arrowing straight for Adam on the sofa. He gripped the other man's shoulder and ordered, "You have to calm down, Adam, or you're going to give yourself a heart attack. Calm. Down."

The broken eyes Adam rose to him sent a pang through Jim and he roughly pulled the man into his arms. Then, suddenly, Blair was with them and surrounded Adam from the other side. Adam curled against the smaller man, making it easier for Jim to hold them both.

Looking at Jim with worry, Blair mouthed, 'What happened?'

Jim shrugged his ignorance and mouthed back, 'Brennan?'

"Oh," Blair murmured, rubbing Adam's back. He reached for Jim with his free hand and Jim obliged, twining their fingers together.

Sighing, Jim knew this was going to be a very, very long night.

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Created on ... April 29, 2003