Exiting Sanctuary, Jesse shivered as the temperature changed, the chill air making the hairs on his arms stand on end. All around trees stood stark against the blackness of the mountain, dark shapes -- nature guarding their home beneath the earth and rock. The moon dominated the skyline -- huge, white and beautiful -- casting an eerie glow on the ocean so far below.
It was a mystical scene, and Jesse couldn't help but stare, his original objective forgotten for a moment.
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
Startled at the voice, Jesse looked around, squinting a little until he saw Brennan, sitting on a rock near Sanctuary's walls. The elemental had his legs tucked up -- hands clasped round them -- as he looked at Jesse, a serene expression on his face. The moonlight reflected in Brennan's hair, causing patches of silver amongst the black, while his face had been bleached to a stark white, his dark eyes harsh in contrast. He looked almost ethereal, magical himself, a description totally alien to how Jesse usually saw his friend.
Realising that he was staring, Jesse mentally shook himself, answering after a too long -- a too significant pause.
"Yeah, it is beautiful."
Realising the double meaning in his words, Jesse blushed a little, glad the darkness hid his embarrassment.
"Come here Jess."
Jesse wanted nothing more than to cross the distance, join Brennan on that rock in the silvery moonlight. But he also wanted to retreat, back away from this temptation, rejoin the others counting down the minutes to New Year inside Sanctuary. To kiss Shalimar and Emma, hug Adam, laugh and drink champagne. It was the familiar, but then again maybe it was time to step away from the familiar?
Seemingly recognising his dilemma, Brennan unhooked his hands, holding one out towards Jesse in invitation.
"Here, I'll help you up."
Seeing the small smile on Brennan's face, Jesse made up his mind. Moving forward, he reached out his own hand, clasping and holding onto Brennan's as he was gently pulled up and over. Soon he found himself tight against Brennan's side, the heat of his body contrasting so sharply with the cold that seeped through the seat of his pants.
Realising that they still sat hand in hand, Jesse tried to let go, only stopping when Brennan tightened his hold. Recognising the unspoken signal, Jesse absentmindedly began to rub his thumb across Brennan's cold palm. Both men remaining silent, drinking in the atmosphere for now.
"We should be getting back. I was supposed to find you."
It was true. Shalimar had told him to find Brennan, that he'd be outside of Sanctuary, near the exit that overlooked the ocean. Yet there wasn't anything that he felt less like doing than rejoining the party right now. It might be warm inside, with music, good food and drink but out here was better. It was perfection. On this cold rock, with the moon hanging above them, Brennan's freezing hand tight in his own.
"I try and do this every New Years Eve." Startled, Jesse looked at Brennan who seemed to be staring at a point in the distance. "It's like my own tradition, to sit and give thanks for the year just ending. Hope for better things in the year just starting. It's not like it ever made any difference, but this is my time to reflect. I've done so much that I'm ashamed of Jesse, I'm not making excuses or wanting forgiveness, because I did what I did and nothing can change that...Do you realise this year is the first year I've had things to be thankful for? I've friends who care for me unconditionally, a place to live, cool cars to drive...and you."
Listening to the softly spoken admission, Jesse had a feeling he was seeing the 'real' Brennan, the man who hid under his brash exterior. Confidence replaced by simple happiness at belonging at last. Seeing Brennan so unguarded, Jesse knew he could finally expose his true feelings.
Using his free hand, Jesse turned Brennan's head towards him, then leaned across and brushed his lips against Brennan's. It was a soft kiss, no passion, but it was enough -- this time. Still with words unspoken, Jesse smiled as Brennan laid his head against his own, dark and light hair mixing together.
This was certainly the surrealist new years eve that Jesse could remember, sitting in the cold, on a rock, in the woods. Holding hands with someone that he had grown to firstly admire then slowly love. It certainly was surreal, but somehow, as they sat -- side by side -- Jesse knew it was right, and hearing the faint peal of bells, he knew he was in exactly the right place, at the right time, and with exactly the right person.
Created on ... April 29, 2003