Rating: G
Pairing: Shalimar/Emma
Series: Two Hearts
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; all rights go to those who do. I am just using them.
~*~*~
It's been over two hours since I last left Emma's fragile body in the care of my trusted friend. I can't stop pacing back and fourth, and it's beginning to drive me nuts. I feel a soft, welcome touch on my shoulder; and, when I gaze up to see who it is, black eyes that I have only wished would notice me in a dream, look to me with comfort and support.
"Do you want to talk about?"
Do I want to talk about it? Now there's a question that I hadn't expected anyone to ask me so soon. I wasn't aware that I was that transparent, but I guess I was. I seem to be exhibiting all of the usual signs of someone who royally fucked up and knew it.
"Bren, it's all my fault."
He pulls me closer into a mind altering hug and I break out in tears once more. I had only begun to get the uncontrollable sobbing in order; and then he had to go and hug me. Why did he have to make me feel so vulnerable in his presence?
"I feel so helpless right now. My best friend is lying in there, barely breathing, and I am out here."
"Shal, we all know if any of us had the chance to switch places with Emma, we would. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not the one who forced her to take those pills. It's not your fault."
"You couldn't possibly begin to understand!"
I hurt him with that last part. He gives me this look, a look that is slowly breaking my heart into a thousand pieces. I don't know where I could even begin, to make him understand the wrong I have done; but he is willing to try, and thank God for that.
"Shal, make me understand!"
I don't know where to start, it all seems so faded and far away. The events of last night pale in comparison to the severity of this morning. It is all just so trivial. But never the less, I will attempt to explain; because frankly I need a friend to lean on.
"Bren last night, after you boys went to bed, Emma and I stayed up talking like we normally do. It was just innocent fun. Then, she did something that I didn't think she would ever do; she kissed me."
That last one hit him with enough force, sending his jaw dropping to the floor. Of all the people, Emma struck us a being the least likely to do something like kiss another woman. She had always given off this soft, innocent, need to be taken care of by a man persona. It was odd to think of her any other way.
While Brennan tried to regain his composure, he came up and wrapped his arm around me.
"So what did you do?"
"What do you mean what did I do? I told her to back off. And then when she tried it again, I got all feral on her ass, Bren I really could of hurt her. No, I take that back, I did hurt her!"
I'm surprised that he heard that last part, because my break down was muffling my speech. But he heard me, he heard me all too clear. He could tell that I was aching inside. I had never meant to hurt her, but she just wasn't what I wanted.
"Shal, it's okay; no one blames you. Emma just couldn't handle the rejection, that's all. I told her not to tell you, but I see she didn't bother to listen. "
Okay, hold up. Did I just hear what I think I just heard? Was Brennan really telling me that he knew about this all along? Oh, someone is going to get hurt!
"Excuse me, are you telling me that you knew about this all along and you didn't bother filling me in?"
He was scared now; he knew he shouldn't have let that last part slip out.
"Shal don't be mad, I didn't want to tell you, because I knew that you would not want to hang out with Emma anymore; and plus, she threatened to kick my ass if I said anything."
"Oh, believe me you're going to get your ass kicked alright! Bren if you knew that she wanted me then you should have told me; it sure as hell would have saved me from hurting her last night. "
"Shal, I know I should have told you, but I couldn't betray Em like that. She is my friend too you know."
"Bren I don't know what I would do if I lost her. I care so much about her. I can tell her anything and she understands. She is my best friend."
He doesn't say anything else; he just sits down with me, draping his arm over my shoulders, in a protective hold. It's much needed contact that I have always wanted from him. Something makes me think that he may also want it too, now that he knows that I don't want Emma.
Just when I was starting to feel better, I hear the medical room doors swing open and my friend coming towards me. He looks so sorry, why does he look so sorry?
"Adam what is it? Adam please don't do this to me!"
He just shakes his head back and fourth.
"No, no it can't be! No, God, no! Emma please no!
I collapse into Brennan's awaiting arms and this sweeping sense of sadness begins to take over my whole body. I know that Adam did everything he could; we just didn't make it in time. She was already gone when we got there; but that doesn't make it any easier.
"Shal I'm sorry, she was just too weak and I couldn't…"
"No, no she isn't dead I refuse to accept it!"
I break my self from Brennan's arms and rush into the med lab. I don't even stop to think about what I am doing, I just know that I refuse to let her go. She is lying on the bed, naked from the waist up, still warm to the touch; but the color is completely drained from her skin, and she is not moving. She is no longer the friend I once thought I knew; she is merely a lifeless body on a table, which I will never be able to replace.
I refuse to accept anything less then her, moving and talking and teasing me; God what I wouldn't give to hear her laugh right now. She has never looked so at peace; and I have never felt so alone. With a tears in my eyes, I take her right hand in mine; and just when I think that I couldn't find the right words to say, I feel this power take over me.
"God, it's me! Please don't take her away from me like this. I'm not ready to be alone; I don't want to be alone. There are so many things she hasn't done yet; she hasn't saved the world like she swore she would, she hasn't gotten married, or had children; but most important, she doesn't know how sorry I am for what I did to her. She doesn't know that I love her no matter what and that I will always be there for her. Please don't take her before I get the chance to make it up to her. Please don't take the other half of my heart."
My tears are free flowing now; but some how, God heard me. Suddenly, a bright green light radiates from our interlocking hands, and I feel my life force surging through her. It weakens me instantly, as my body transfers its strength to hers; but then, I hear what I do believe is one of the best sounds I have ever heard in my entire life, the sound of her gasping for breath.
As soon as I see that it is all real, and I am not just dreaming; I pull myself to her, hugging her and calling for Adam. The gang rushes into the room and Adam pushes me out of the way to run some tests. But the entire time this is happening I haven't once broke the contact of our hands. At the rate I am going now, I don't think I will ever let go of her as long as I live."
"Emma, Emma this is Adam; can you hear me? Tell me where you are Emma?"
"Adam, Shalimar, Bren, Jess, what's going?"
"You're at the Sanctuary kiddo, and you're going to be just fine!"
"I can't believe it, she is breathing, it's not possible. When I left, she wasn't alive; Shal how did you…?"
"Adam, I, I, I don't know?! One minute I was just holding her hand and praying; then the next I felt this jolt of energy coming out of my body. It was unlike anything I have ever felt before in my life. Then she breathed, is she going to be alright?"
"She's going to be fine. Pupils are responsive, breath sounds and heart beat are good, reflexes are intact, and she doesn't appear to have any permanent brain damage. Shal, you brought her back to life!"
Created on ... May 05, 2003