Author's Notes: This is post-ep for "Meaning of Death". A bit of angst, and some fluffy bunnies at the end, but nothing more severe than that. The title comes from a poem I wrote. Necessary bits are at the end.
*****
"Hey." Brennan mounted the stairs to the computers and nodded to Jesse.
"Hey." Jesse kept typing for a second. "What's up?"
"Not much." Brennan sat on the floor and leaned against the railing. "You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, feeling fine."
"No side effects from the cure?"
Jesse stopped typing and lifted the arms of the computer station to slip out of his chair. He walked over and crouched next to Brennan. "I'm fine, Brennan. Adam's kept a tight watch on the whole process. I'm all healed up."
"You sure?"
"Completely. No phasing in and out, I promise."
Brennan breathed out hard and reached out to touch Jesse at the base of his neck. "You almost died."
"I'm still here."
"I was locked up with a set of Springer guests, and you were lying in bed with Eckhart close enough to do something to you."
"He didn't touch me." Jesse situated himself so he was sitting next to Brennan with the left side of his body pressed against Brennan from shoulder to ankle.
"I wanted to be there."
"I know."
Brennan lifted his arm and draped it across Jesse's shoulder, pulling him closer. "I just got you. I don't want to lose you."
"You won't."
"You're going to die."
"Not today."
"You will."
"So will you."
"Are you sure your immune system didn't get weakened? Did Adam check for that?"
Jesse sighed. "Aren't I supposed to be the worrier in this relationship?"
"I'm taking my turn." Brennan's words were clipped.
"I'm not teasing you. I'm just trying to get you to relax. I've barely seen you crack a smile in four days. It's disconcerting. Usually all I have to do to make you smile is touch you."
"You almost died."
Jesse rested his hand on Brennan's thigh. "I'm alive. I swear it."
"I know, it's just-you're supposed to be invincible. Your power's supposed to make it impossible for you to be hurt. It almost killed you."
"My power didn't make me sick. The virus made me sick."
"You got sick because you had your power."
"And you could have gotten sick exposed to Rick. Or you could stand in a puddle tomorrow, charge up, and electrocute yourself. It's what we risk."
Brennan stared at Jesse for a few seconds. "You worry I'm going to electrocute myself?"
"You're not the only one who wonders what our powers do to us."
"I'm waiting for the day when someone brings a sledgehammer and shatters you, or grabs a vacuum cleaner and sucks you down a hose."
"You know it doesn't work like that."
"And I won't electrocute myself if I stand in a puddle."
"So we're both completely irrational."
"Yeah." Brennan leaned his head back.
Jesse leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. "I'm fine. I'm healthy, and you weren't infected, so we're both fine and healthy."
"Although, I'm finer." Brennan smirked.
"You're delusional, but I'll let you believe it if you want." Jesse grinned as Brennan beamed at him.
"Okay." Brennan wrapped his hand around the back of Jesse's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. "You're healthy."
"Completely."
"You have to stay healthy."
"So do you."
"I will."
"Me, too." Jesse finished the conversation by leaning in the last bit and kissing Brennan.
***Part of the poem that helped me with the title***
Then, there's a moment,
Scared, unsure,
It hurts to wonder,
Wonder what could happen.
After the fright,
The terror,
The moment of coldness down your spine,
After the fright,
After the fright,
the talking begins.
And from the talking,
Perhaps,
Some understanding,
And a chance to sleep,
With all the lights off.
Created on ... April 29, 2003