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Jesse paused in the doorway to his bedroom, his eyes firmly fixed on the rumpled bed. A slow, silly smile spread over his face as he drank in the delicious site, proving, without a doubt, that he had it bad.
His warm, fuzzy reaction to Brennan in his bed wouldn't have been so troubling if more skin had been showing. Then, Jesse could have just played off what he felt as lust. Blamed his hormones, and lived happily in the land of denial for a little while longer. However, with only dark, tousled hair showing, and every other part of his lover's long, lean body hidden beneath a heavy comforter, Jesse knew he could pretty much throw the safer theory out the window.
This wasn't lust. Well, it wasn't just lust. It was something more. Something deeper. And, something infinitely scarier.
Jesse's smile dimmed a bit as he walked toward the bed. This was bad on so many levels. You just didn't fall in love with your teammate.
Oh, sure, they were great if you needed a hot quickie. Jesse couldn't even begin to count the number of times he had been jumped by Shalimar. It had been fun, and a bit tiring after a while, but they had never strayed from the true course of their coupling. She was in heat, he was a healthy young male. Nice and simple. Any potential repercussions were handled by strict protective measures. After all, the last thing either of them wanted was a litter.
But, while that particular threat certainly didn't exist with Brennan, others did. It would be so easy, too easy, for these fledgling feelings to get warped. For someone to get hurt.
And then, good bye friendship. Good bye anything that remotely resembled a productive working environment. He and Brennan fought so well together, their styles gelling perfectly. Did they really want to risk throwing all of that away?
Jesse knew all that happening was a long shot, but sometimes the worst thing you can think of is what comes to pass, and he was able to admit, freely, but silently, that the thought of losing Brennan scared the hell out of him.
The blonde mutant reached the bed, pulled back the covers and slid in next to his living electric blanket. He had hoped that his return was quick enough, and smooth enough to go unnoticed. It wasn't.
A sleepy, startled head shot up from it's pillow. "Whuzzat?"
"It's just me." Jesse rubbed his hand over his lover's flank.
"Jess." Bleary brown eyes blinked at him. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Go back to sleep."
"M'kay." The dark head thumped back down on the pillow, and Brennan was immediately gone, once again entrenched in his deep, and most likely dreamless sleep.
Lucky bastard.
Brennan probably never had any doubts about their relationship. Having doubts would require thinking ahead, and he was too caught up living in the moment to worry about the future. So, it was left to Jesse to be the worrier, the responsible one. The one who didn't look like he was going to be visiting happy dreamland anytime soon.
Fine. But, if he was going to lie awake and brood, he might as well be comfortable doing it.
Jesse couldn't help the smile that played around his mouth as he snuggled in against the larger man. Even in his state of sweet unconsciousness, Brennan knew enough to wrap himself around Jesse's body, and the sometimes intangible mutant was squeezed, not tightly, but reassuringly.
Maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
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Created on ... April 29, 2003